I've made it from the bed to the couch. There's no stopping me now.
Anonymous
If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for life would you choose hard or soft tacos?
Good friends don't let their friends do stupid things alone.
Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.
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I'm trying to think how I can think of what I want to think.
New year resolutions you can actually keep! Skip more classes in school. Call in sick at work more. Go shopping more often. Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers. Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits. Do less exercise and watch more TV.
I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy.
It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt.
If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson
Simpsons
I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.
Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands.
Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits.
I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.
My doctor prescribed laughter as the most efficient medicine. Unfortunately the pharmacist said too many people were crying from laughter so it's no longer available.
CoolFunnyQuotes.com
I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it.
In grammar class the teacher asks her student: When you sing you say 'I sing' what do you say when your brother is singing? I say 'shut up you're a terrible singer'.
Every morning I do 10 sit-ups, to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock.
