Stupid Funny Quotes

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The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Run! - Anonymous

The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Run! Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out?

I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out? Anonymous

I'm a ninja! No you're not. Did you see that? See what? Exactly! - Anonymous

I'm a ninja! No you're not. Did you see that? See what? Exactly! Anonymous

I don't understand what's bothering you honey, I bring you coffee in bed every morning, all you have to do is grind it. - Anonymous

I don't understand what's bothering you honey, I bring you coffee in bed every morning, all you have to do is grind it. Anonymous

Intelligence is chasing me, but I'm beating it so far. - Anonymous

Intelligence is chasing me, but I'm beating it so far. Anonymous

I always intended to pay for my sins, but I could never afford it. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

I always intended to pay for my sins, but I could never afford it. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Money Quotes Never Quotes Short Quotes

I never apologize. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way I am.

I never apologize. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way I am.. Anonymous

Never Quotes Short Quotes

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Emo Philips

Computers Short Quotes

Stop saying "B4" instead of "Before," you're ruining my Bingo game.

Stop saying "B4" instead of "Before," you're ruining my Bingo game. Anonymous

After a lot of research, scientists have concluded that the most vitamins are found in the pharmacy. - Anonymous

After a lot of research, scientists have concluded that the most vitamins are found in the pharmacy. Anonymous

Did a cartwheel the other day, thinking it was like riding a bike. It's not. - Anonymous

Did a cartwheel the other day, thinking it was like riding a bike. It's not. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Short Quotes Think Quotes

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working. - Anonymous

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working. Anonymous

Questions Top 100

When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my name going to be then?' Anonymous

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Douglas Adams

It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already. - Anonymous

It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Time Quotes Top 100

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard. Anonymous

Kids, I don't know if our ceiling is the best ceiling... but it's definitely up there. - Anonymous

Kids, I don't know if our ceiling is the best ceiling... but it's definitely up there. Anonymous

I'm not afraid of flying, I'm afraid of not flying.

I'm not afraid of flying, I'm afraid of not flying. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

I'm trying to think how I can think of what I want to think.

I'm trying to think how I can think of what I want to think. Anonymous

Short Quotes Think Quotes

Prescribed laughter

My doctor prescribed laughter as the most efficient medicine. Unfortunately the pharmacist said too many people were crying from laughter so it's no longer available. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

People Quotes Witty Quotes

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow. - Anonymous

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow. Anonymous

I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. - George W. Bush

I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.

George W. Bush

I lost control. Offering reward to anyone who finds it.

I lost control. Offering reward to anyone who finds it. Anonymous

It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too, and the day before that. Anonymous

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