Steven Alexander Wright Quote

Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.

I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police car.

The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.

I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y".

When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31.

Minimum wage is like work enthusiasm, it disappears quickly.

To a dog, a fire hydrant under maintenance is like a bathroom that's out of service.

Work is just something I'm doing until I win the lottery.

The traffic is so slow today that I read two books, ate lunch, dinner, replied to all my emails, and I still haven't got to work yet.

A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could only have one book, what would it be? I always say 'How to Build a Boat.'

I'm not feeling very worky today.