Dave Barry Quote

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.

Do you have a band-aid, because I just scraped my knee falling in love with you.

I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor.

When you fall, I will be there to catch you - With love, the floor.

I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.

Beginner pilot rules:

1. The propeller is just a big fan made to cool down the pilot in the cockpit. When it stops, you can see the pilot start sweating excessively.
2. You don't have to take off, but landing is mandatory.
3. Pushing forward on the flight stick makes the earth look bigger, pulling makes it look smaller.
If you pull too much or too long however, it will look bigger yet again.
4. Flying is safe as long as you don't crash.
5. It's better to wish you were flying than to wish you were on the ground.
6. A good landing is a landing in which everyone walks away.
7. Besides affecting apples, gravity also affects planes.

You had me at "We'll make it look like an accident."

Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works.

Mom: Why is everything on the floor? Me: Gravity, mom.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

You laugh because I'm different........... I laugh cause I just farted!