Dave Barry Quote

Home / Authors / Dave Barry

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

More Quotes by Dave Barry

Similar Quotes

Pilot rules

Beginner pilot rules:

1. The propeller is just a big fan made to cool down the pilot in the cockpit. When it stops, you can see the pilot start sweating excessively.
2. You don't have to take off, but landing is mandatory.
3. Pushing forward on the flight stick makes the earth look bigger, pulling makes it look smaller.
If you pull too much or too long however, it will look bigger yet again.
4. Flying is safe as long as you don't crash.
5. It's better to wish you were flying than to wish you were on the ground.
6. A good landing is a landing in which everyone walks away.
7. Besides affecting apples, gravity also affects planes.

Good Quotes Stupid Quotes

Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. - Anonymous

Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works.

Questions Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

People Quotes Questions Short Quotes

You laugh because I'm different...........
I laugh cause I just farted! - Anonymous

You laugh because I'm different........... I laugh cause I just farted!

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Douglas Adams

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. - Woody Allen

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

Moments Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. - Anonymous

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

Ronnie Shakes

Sayings Stupid Quotes

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

Animals Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. - George W. Bush

I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.

George W. Bush

Famous Quotes Stupid Quotes

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

Stupid Quotes Wise Quotes

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories... - Steven Alexander Wright

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories...

Steven Alexander Wright

Life Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too, and the day before that.

Statements Stupid Quotes

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. - Anonymous

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

Know Quotes People Quotes Stupid Quotes

Newspaper ad: Hiring clowns, must be serious.

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' - Anonymous

Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?'

Dog Quotes Stupid Quotes

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

Albert Einstein

Famous Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

It's so simple to be wise.

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.

Stupid Quotes Think Quotes Wise Quotes

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

Steven Alexander Wright

Stupid Quotes Work Quotes

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

Jack Handey

Animals Eat Quotes Famous Quotes

Related Categories

Stupid Funny Quotes