I'm trying to think how I can think of what I want to think.
If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door. Anonymous
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. Anonymous
You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it. Sam Levenson
Zoning out is your brain's way of saying "You look bored. Let me take you to a better place." Anonymous
I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is. Anonymous
You laugh because I'm different........... I laugh cause I just farted! Anonymous
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. Woody Allen
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. Anonymous
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. Henny Youngman
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories... Steven Alexander Wright
It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too, and the day before that. Anonymous
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. Anonymous