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Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia.

Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia. Anonymous

Drinking Questions Top 100

I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does. - Anonymous

I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does. Anonymous

Know Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door. - Anonymous

If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Think Quotes

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. - Anonymous

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. Anonymous

Good Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

In grammar class the teacher asks her student 'When you sing you say 'I sing' what do you say when your brother is singing? I say 'shut up you're a terrible singer'.

In grammar class the teacher asks her student: When you sing you say 'I sing' what do you say when your brother is singing? I say 'shut up you're a terrible singer'. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Instead of LOL why don't you try LOLWKASF: Laughing Out Loud While Keeping A Straight Face. Anonymous

Just because I can't sing doesn't mean that I won't sing. - Anonymous

Just because I can't sing doesn't mean that I won't sing. Anonymous

Short Quotes Statements

If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all. - David Letterman

If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.

David Letterman

Sayings Top 100 Wise Quotes

I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better. - Anonymous

I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better. Anonymous

Know Quotes Short Quotes

I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed. - Anonymous

I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed. Anonymous

Life Quotes Top 100

No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.

No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid. Anonymous

Never Quotes Sayings Top 100

My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one. - Anonymous

My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one. Anonymous

Short Quotes Wise Quotes Witty Quotes

You can't have everything... where would you put it?

You can't have everything... where would you put it? Steven Alexander Wright

Questions Sayings Short Quotes

I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor. - Anonymous

I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor. Anonymous

After a while, I eventually fell in love and there was nobody to pick me up.

After a while, I eventually fell in love and there was nobody to pick me up. Anonymous

Love Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for life would you choose hard or soft tacos? - Anonymous

If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for life would you choose hard or soft tacos? Anonymous

Questions Top 100

I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down.

I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Drinking Funny Tree Quotes

I'm glad I don't have to hunt my own food, I don't even know where sandwiches live. - Anonymous

I'm glad I don't have to hunt my own food, I don't even know where sandwiches live. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Know Quotes Sayings

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid. Anonymous

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons...and 85% morons. Frank Zappa

I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.

I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning. Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

Ronnie Shakes

I'm having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by... - Anonymous

I'm having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by... Anonymous

People Quotes Phone Witty Quotes

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