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After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

Ronnie Shakes

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I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. - George W. Bush

I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.

George W. Bush

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Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories... - Steven Alexander Wright

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories...

Steven Alexander Wright
Life Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
You're born free, then you're taxed to death.

You're born free, then you're taxed to death.

Anonymous
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The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

Albert Einstein
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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

Jack Handey

Animals Eat Quotes Famous Quotes
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all. - David Letterman

If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.

David Letterman

Sayings Stupid Quotes Top 100
Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.

Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.

Albert Einstein
Famous Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Anonymous
People Quotes Questions Short Quotes
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human.

To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human.

Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
You laugh because I'm different........... I laugh cause I just farted! - Anonymous

You laugh because I'm different........... I laugh cause I just farted!

Anonymous
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Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. - Albert Einstein

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.

Albert Einstein
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Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Douglas Adams

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When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. - Woody Allen

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

Woody Allen
Moments Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. - Anonymous

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

Anonymous
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Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. - Anonymous

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

Anonymous
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Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!

Anonymous
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Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

Anonymous
Animals Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

Albert Einstein
Famous Quotes Top 100

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

Henny Youngman
Stupid Quotes Wise Quotes
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. - Anonymous

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Anonymous
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