In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria.
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
What is the difference between having a cold beer and going to the bathroom? About 35 minutes.
A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.
How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
Let's have a beer together, you can open it and I will drink it.
Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.
The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.
Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work.
There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer.
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.
Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry.
I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking.
Never test how deep the water is with both feet.
Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia.
Hate your job? Join our support group! It’s called EVERYBODY. We meet at the bar.
Don't drink to forget me, you'll end up seeing me double.
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