Woody Allen Quote

If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!!

Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job.

The decision to decide is a decision in itself.

Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day!

My boss asked me where I see myself in 5 years. I told him if his hair keeps falling out, I'll see myself in his bald spot.

Tried going out with my girlfriend but by the time she finished putting on her makeup the weekend was over.

Taking a shower is awesome, it makes you feel nice and clean, makes you sound like a great singer, and helps you make all of life's decisions.