I'm not afraid of flying, I'm afraid of not flying.
You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
Beginner pilot rules:
1. The propeller is just a big fan made to cool down the pilot in the cockpit. When it stops, you can see the pilot start sweating excessively.
2. You don't have to take off, but landing is mandatory.
3. Pushing forward on the flight stick makes the earth look bigger, pulling makes it look smaller.
If you pull too much or too long however, it will look bigger yet again.
4. Flying is safe as long as you don't crash.
5. It's better to wish you were flying than to wish you were on the ground.
6. A good landing is a landing in which everyone walks away.
7. Besides affecting apples, gravity also affects planes.
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, 'Send one of my bags to New York, one to Los Angeles, and one to Miami.' She said, 'We can't do that!' I told her, 'You did it last week!'
Happiness: The emotion that puts your face in motion. Fear: The emotion that puts your legs in motion. Anger: The emotion that puts your fist in motion. Lesson: Don't be afraid or angry and you won't have to run and fight.
I'm not afraid to die. I just don't like the thought of being gone so long!
I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying!
Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you. "Yeah. So is a grenade."
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever.
The only thing you have to fear is fear itself... and spiders.
Ladies and gentlemen thank you for flying xyz airlines, we hope you enjoyed your flight as much as we enjoyed taking your money. Please remember to take all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among crew members.
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
To make time fly, throw your watch out the window.
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