Sam Levenson Quote

An apple a day keeps anyone anyway, if you throw it hard enough.

Anonymous

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Anonymous

You laugh because I'm different........... I laugh cause I just farted!

Anonymous

Newspaper ad: Hiring clowns, must be serious.

Anonymous

Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?'

Anonymous

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

Albert Einstein

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.

Anonymous

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

Dave Barry

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

Steven Alexander Wright

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

Jack Handey

Don't be stupid, it might make you famous.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

The last thing that blew my mind was the wind.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

Dave Barry

Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on.

Anonymous

When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it.

Sigmund Freud

A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first.

Anonymous

If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.

David Letterman

After a lot of research, scientists have concluded that the most vitamins are found in the pharmacy.

Anonymous

Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits.

Anonymous

What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water.

Anonymous