Anonymous Quote

Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear.

Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up.

Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old.

I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket."

To thrive in life you need three bones. A wish bone, a back bone, and a funny bone.

A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off.

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car.

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting... It's like, woah, I'm not the same person I was last night.