I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police car.
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear. Dave Barry
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. Steven Alexander Wright
Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old. Anonymous
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket." Anonymous
A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. Anonymous
Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working. Anonymous
Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car. Anonymous