When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half eaten sandwich.
Are you free tomorrow? No, tomorrow I'm still expensive. Anonymous
Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. Albert Einstein
Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It's like Facebook in real life. Anonymous
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
Stop texting me in the middle of texting you... now I have to change my text. Anonymous
There was a time when people said, 'Jim, if you keep on making faces, your face will freeze like that.' Now they just say, 'Pay him!'
I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven... or do they send someone to pick us up? Anonymous
That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people. Anonymous
The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree. Steven Alexander Wright
I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up. Anonymous
Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute. Anonymous
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.
Those who think they know it all are very annoying to those of us who actually do. Anonymous
All of us light up a room, some when they enter, others when they leave. Anonymous
Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite. Anonymous
I'm going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, I'm outstanding. Anonymous
If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably don't want to know you. Anonymous
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