I'm having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by... Anonymous
I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor. Anonymous
My doctor prescribed laughter as the most efficient medicine. Unfortunately the pharmacist said too many people were crying from laughter so it's no longer available. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
I miss the days when you could just push someone in the swimming pool without worrying about their cell phone. Anonymous
I love everyone! I love to be around some people, I love to stay away from others, and some I'd just love to punch right in the face! Anonymous
I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.' Anonymous
Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite. Anonymous
I look at the moon and it looks really beautiful!.. Then I look at you... and.. I think I'll look at the moon again?! Anonymous
Everyone wants your best! Don't let them take it away from you. Anonymous
A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first. Anonymous
If we were on a sinking ship, and there was only one life vest... I would miss you so much. Anonymous
I hate when people ask me what I'm doing tomorrow, I don't even know what I'm doing today. Anonymous
People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out... I mean, don't they have thoughts? Anonymous
Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself. Anonymous
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.
If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them. Anonymous
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
Some of the greatest ideas of all time have come to people during Math class... none of which had anything to do with Math. Anonymous
That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people. Anonymous
Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people. Anonymous
I'll do the stupid thing first and then you shy people follow . Frank Zappa
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