I don't care when people honk at me, but when geese do, I get out of the way!
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
Those who think they know it all are very annoying to those of us who actually do. Anonymous
If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably don't want to know you. Anonymous
I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does. Anonymous
Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself. Anonymous
Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. Anonymous
Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog. Anonymous
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear. Dave Barry
The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees
The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree. Steven Alexander Wright
Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around. Anonymous
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. Anonymous
Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better! Anonymous
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog. Anonymous