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I don't care when people honk at me, but when geese do, I get out of the way!

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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

Jack Handey

Animals Eat Quotes Famous Quotes

It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird. - Anonymous

It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird. Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100

Those who think they know it all are very annoying to those of us who actually do. - Anonymous

Those who think they know it all are very annoying to those of us who actually do. Anonymous

Know Quotes People Quotes Think Quotes

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If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably don't want to know you. - Anonymous

If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably don't want to know you. Anonymous

Know Quotes People Quotes Questions

I don't like morning people... or mornings, or people.

I don't like morning people... or mornings, or people. Anonymous

People Quotes Short Quotes

I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does. - Anonymous

I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does. Anonymous

Know Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself.

Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself. Anonymous

People Quotes Sayings

Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. - Anonymous

Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. Anonymous

Animals Sayings Short Quotes

Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog. - Anonymous

Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog. Anonymous

Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear. - Dave Barry

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear. Dave Barry

Animals Dog Quotes

The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following.

The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.

Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.

John Peer

Animals Dog Quotes Never Quotes

God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.

Jacques Deval

Animals Funny Tree Quotes Man Quotes

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees

David Letterman

Animals Funny Tree Quotes Stupid Quotes

The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree. Steven Alexander Wright

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Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.

Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around. Anonymous

Animals Cat Quotes Computers

I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status.

I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. Anonymous

Animals Cat Quotes Computers

Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better!

Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better! Anonymous

Animals Eat Quotes Good Quotes

The best way to show a giraffe your love is to knit a scarf for it. - Anonymous

The best way to show a giraffe your love is to knit a scarf for it. Anonymous

Animals Short Quotes Top 100

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog. Anonymous

Animals Dog Quotes Sayings

I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.

I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor. Anonymous

Animals Dog Quotes Eat Quotes

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