There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
I'll do the stupid thing first and then you shy people follow .
I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up.
Those who think they know it all are very annoying to those of us who actually do.
I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands.
The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.
Steven Alexander Wright
I hate when people ask me what I'm doing tomorrow, I don't even know what I'm doing today.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.
Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite.
When you're thinking that I'm thinking of you, I'm thinking you're thinking of me.
My doctor prescribed laughter as the most efficient medicine. Unfortunately the pharmacist said too many people were crying from laughter so it's no longer available.
If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably don't want to know you.
What type of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly squats.
I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable.
I'm going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, I'm outstanding.
If Facebook has taught us anything it's that a lot of people aren't quite ready for a spelling bee.
There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing.
If you can't remember my name, just say "Chocolate" and I'll turn around.
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