Being angry is not necessarily bad, some the best things were invented by angry people. Lamborghini didn't produce a single car until Enzo Ferrari made him angry.
I'll do the stupid thing first and then you shy people follow .
What great energy, intelligence, and magnificent beautiful eyes... But enough about me, how are you doing?
Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn.
I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.
Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.
I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.
When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half eaten sandwich.
I'm going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, I'm outstanding.
Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones.
The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it's too late for them to back out.
Those who think they know it all are very annoying to those of us who actually do.
I hate when people ask me what I'm doing tomorrow, I don't even know what I'm doing today.
When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they're not it.
People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out... I mean, don't they have thoughts?
I look at the moon and it looks really beautiful!.. Then I look at you... and.. I think I'll look at the moon again?!
Could you please be as silent as the G in lasagna?
I don't know how to act my age because I've never been this old before.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
An expert is a person who has made every possible mistake in a small field of study.
I don't care when people honk at me, but when geese do, I get out of the way!
The only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and the fast people always end up behind you.
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