People Quotes

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands.

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don't answer because I'm eating.

Be kind to people, and if that's too much to ask for then just be weird to people. It's the least you can do.

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

When you're thinking that I'm thinking of you, I'm thinking you're thinking of me.

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it's too late for them to back out.

I end all my sentences with "Just saying.." because ending them with "You bonehead.." would probably be considered offensive.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

If you can't remember my name, just say "Chocolate" and I'll turn around.

What type of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly squats.

All of us light up a room, some when they enter, others when they leave.

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they're not it.

There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza.