If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. Anonymous
When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half eaten sandwich.
It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor. Anonymous
Those who think they know it all are very annoying to those of us who actually do. Anonymous
Stop texting me in the middle of texting you... now I have to change my text. Anonymous
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.
I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven... or do they send someone to pick us up? Anonymous
If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably don't want to know you. Anonymous
I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable. Anonymous
The only relationship I have is with my Wi-Fi. We have a connection. Anonymous
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