Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway. Anonymous
When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half eaten sandwich.
I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty. Then I looked into my heart and I found you, and only then I figured out how rich I was. Anonymous
When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver. Anonymous
I love sarcasm. It's like punching people in the face, but with words. Anonymous
When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they're not it.
For you, I would swim across the ocean. LOL, just kidding, there are sharks in there. Anonymous
I look at the moon and it looks really beautiful!.. Then I look at you... and.. I think I'll look at the moon again?! Anonymous
I'll do the stupid thing first and then you shy people follow . Frank Zappa
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
I end all my sentences with "Just saying.." because ending them with "You bonehead.." would probably be considered offensive. Anonymous
When you're thinking that I'm thinking of you, I'm thinking you're thinking of me. Anonymous
The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it's too late for them to back out. Anonymous
I'm having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by... Anonymous
Displayed 49-72 of 102 quotes.