There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably don't want to know you.
I'm not weird, I'm just limited edition.
People say you can't live without love, but I think oxygen is more important.
Everyone wants your best! Don't let them take it away from you.
There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza.
Stop texting me in the middle of texting you... now I have to change my text.
I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty. Then I looked into my heart and I found you, and only then I figured out how rich I was.
Be happy, it drives people crazy.
Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands.
That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.
Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.
When you're thinking that I'm thinking of you, I'm thinking you're thinking of me.
People say I act like I don't care. It's not an act.
Sharks are not so bad... If a stranger came into my house wearing only a bathing suit, I'd probably get angry too.
Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying.
Google earth view gives you the amazing chance to see amazing places all over the world, from the comfort of your own home. With this amazing privilege, what do most people look at? Their own house, their friends houses, and mostly places they have already been to!
You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar.
I didn't mean to push all your buttons, I was just looking for the mute button.
If you can't remember my name, just say "Chocolate" and I'll turn around.
All of us light up a room, some when they enter, others when they leave.
The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.
I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable.
What type of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly squats.
