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If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. - Anonymous

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. Anonymous

Money Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones. - Anonymous

Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones. Anonymous

Life Quotes Phone Sayings

Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute. - Anonymous

Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute. Anonymous

Never Quotes Phone Top 100

Stop texting me in the middle of texting you... now I have to change my text. - Anonymous

Stop texting me in the middle of texting you... now I have to change my text. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

Jack Handey

Animals Eat Quotes Famous Quotes

The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

Walter Bagehot

Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don't answer because I'm eating. - Anonymous

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don't answer because I'm eating. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Love Quotes Money Quotes

I'll do the stupid thing first and then you shy people follow . - Frank Zappa

I'll do the stupid thing first and then you shy people follow . Frank Zappa

Moments Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Don't scare me, I fart easily. Anonymous

When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver. - Anonymous

When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver. Anonymous

Sayings Sleep Quotes Wise Quotes

I miss the days when you could just push someone in the swimming pool without worrying about their cell phone. - Anonymous

I miss the days when you could just push someone in the swimming pool without worrying about their cell phone. Anonymous

I don't like morning people... or mornings, or people.

I don't like morning people... or mornings, or people. Anonymous

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.

Jack Handey

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

Fred Allen

Life Quotes Work Quotes

I'm going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, I'm outstanding. - Anonymous

I'm going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, I'm outstanding. Anonymous

Short Quotes Witty Quotes

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It's like Facebook in real life. - Anonymous

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It's like Facebook in real life. Anonymous

Facebook Life Quotes

It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane. - June Henderson

It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.

June Henderson

I'm having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by... - Anonymous

I'm having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by... Anonymous

Phone Stupid Quotes Witty Quotes

I'm not weird, I'm just limited edition. - Anonymous

I'm not weird, I'm just limited edition. Anonymous

Google earth view gives you the amazing chance to see amazing places all over the world, from the comfort of your own home. With this amazing privilege, what do most people look at? Their own house, their friends houses, and mostly places they have already been to! - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Google earth view gives you the amazing chance to see amazing places all over the world, from the comfort of your own home. With this amazing privilege, what do most people look at? Their own house, their friends houses, and mostly places they have already been to! CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Moments World Quotes

I don't know how to act my age because I've never been this old before. - Anonymous

I don't know how to act my age because I've never been this old before. Anonymous

Know Quotes Never Quotes Short Quotes

I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands.

I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands. Anonymous

Know Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

Could you please be as silent as the G in lasagna?

Could you please be as silent as the G in lasagna? Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes

I look at the moon and it looks really beautiful!.. Then I look at you... and.. I think I'll look at the moon again?!

I look at the moon and it looks really beautiful!.. Then I look at you... and.. I think I'll look at the moon again?! Anonymous

Think Quotes Top 100 Wife Quotes

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