Funny Quotes About Eating

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?

An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.

I'm glad I don't have to hunt my own food, I don't even know where sandwiches live.

All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips.

I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.

If I had 10 cookies and you took half, do you know what you would have? That's right, a black eye and a broken hand.

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Did you know "DIET" stands for "Did I Eat That?"

Happiness is eating an entire pizza in front of a friend who's on a diet.

I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year.

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.

A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.

In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry!