Funny Quotes About Eating

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Anonymous

Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying.

Anonymous

I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.

Anonymous

Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge.

Anonymous

A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.

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When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half eaten sandwich.

Violet Matters

A fisherman who just caught a huge salmon reels the fish in, looks at the fish and says 'I am taking you for tonight's dinner!' The fish replies 'I already ate, can we go somewhere else?'

Anonymous

Don't believe everything fortune cookies tells you. Just because they're sweet doesn't mean they're right.

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I'm just going to flip this omelette... Okay, we're having scrambled eggs.

Anonymous

If you know how many cupcakes I'm holding behind my back I'll give you both of them.

Anonymous

Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late.

Sam Levenson

New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.

Anonymous

Birthdays are nature's way of feeding us cake.

Anonymous

I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.

Anonymous

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Anonymous

It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already.

Anonymous

Sit down and let me tell you a story. Once upon a time I was hungry, and that's what happened to all your chocolate.

Anonymous

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don't answer because I'm eating.

Anonymous