Funny Quotes About Eating

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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

Jack Handey

Animals Famous Quotes People Quotes

Sit down and let me tell you a story. Once upon a time I was hungry, and that's what happened to all your chocolate. - Anonymous

Sit down and let me tell you a story. Once upon a time I was hungry, and that's what happened to all your chocolate. Anonymous

Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that's confusing. - Anonymous

Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that's confusing. Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful. - Anonymous

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful. Anonymous

Life Quotes Sleep Quotes Top 100

You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself. - Anonymous

You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself. Anonymous

Know Quotes Sayings Top 100

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Anonymous

I followed a diet but it didn't follow me back, so I unfollowed it. - Anonymous

I followed a diet but it didn't follow me back, so I unfollowed it. Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100

How do I like my eggs? In a cake. - Anonymous

How do I like my eggs? In a cake. Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes Top 100

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don't answer because I'm eating. - Anonymous

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don't answer because I'm eating. Anonymous

Love Quotes Money Quotes People Quotes

Chocolate is great, it gives you energy which can be used to go buy more chocolate. - Anonymous

Chocolate is great, it gives you energy which can be used to go buy more chocolate. Anonymous

I'm just going to flip this omelette... Okay, we're having scrambled eggs. - Anonymous

I'm just going to flip this omelette... Okay, we're having scrambled eggs. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Top 100

Cupcakes

If you know how many cupcakes I'm holding behind my back I'll give you both of them. Anonymous

Know Quotes Stupid Quotes

I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing. - Anonymous

I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing. Anonymous

Short Quotes Statements Think Quotes

You can trust your dog to guard your house.

You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich. Anonymous

Animals Dog Quotes Never Quotes

I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.

I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Near year 2013, resolutions you can keep.

New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Stupid Quotes TV Quotes

A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.

A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.

I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry. Anonymous

Moments Short Quotes

There's nothing better than good friend, except for a good friend with chocolate.

There's nothing better than a good friend, except for a good friend with chocolate. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Good Quotes

I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.

I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor. Anonymous

Animals Dog Quotes People Quotes

Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying.

Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying. Anonymous

Love Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale's mating call. - Anonymous

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale's mating call. Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100

Yesterday I really wanted tacos, and now I'm eating tacos. Follow your dreams! - Anonymous

Yesterday I really wanted tacos, and now I'm eating tacos. Follow your dreams! Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. Mark Twain

Drinking Famous Quotes Top 100

Displayed 25-48 of 91 quotes.