I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.
Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that's confusing.
My hobbies include eating and complaining that I've gained too much weight.
Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.
Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.
I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and I find is ingredients.
Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world.
I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing.
Math: the only place where you have to figure out the ratio of yellow candy to blue candy when all you're thinking about is eating them.
Yesterday I really wanted tacos, and now I'm eating tacos. Follow your dreams!
I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it's someone's birthday and I like to celebrate.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.
How do I like my eggs? In a cake.
My diet for today: 1% food, 99% Halloween candy.
Every time I have my picture taken I get hungry because I hear 'cheese' so I
start to think of a nice cheese sandwich.
If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece.
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
How does a train eat? Chew, Chew...
Pros and cons for making food: Pro: Food. Con: Making.
I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge.
Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale's mating call.
Next week I'm going on a diet, you can buy me jewelry instead of chocolate.
"Oh you want to have your cake and eat it too?" Darn right, what good is cake if you can't eat it ?
CoolFunnyQuotes.com © 2019