It's all fun and games until your jeans don't fit any more.
I'm glad I don't have to hunt my own food, I don't even know where sandwiches live.
Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.
Chocolate is great, it gives you energy which can be used to go buy more chocolate.
The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I actually asked for pizza.
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch.
You just can't live a full life on an empty stomach.
Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge.
I'm just going to flip this omelette... Okay, we're having scrambled eggs.
Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.
It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already.
I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and I find is ingredients.
I can't sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.
Sit down and let me tell you a story. Once upon a time I was hungry, and that's what happened to all your chocolate.
When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don't answer because I'm eating.
If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?
Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.
Math: the only place where you have to figure out the ratio of yellow candy to blue candy when all you're thinking about is eating them.
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