Funny Quotes About Eating

I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.

I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake.

I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge.

Birthdays are nature's way of feeding us cake.

Nutrition labels should include an "What if I ate the whole thing" section.

I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you're hungry, and want to stay that way.

A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.

Pros and cons for making food: Pro: Food. Con: Making.

It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already.

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

It's all fun and games until your jeans don't fit any more.

Fortune cookie: You'll have a better fortune in the next cookie.

My hobbies include eating and complaining that I've gained too much weight.