Funny Quotes About Eating

I followed a diet but it didn't follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Anonymous

I can't sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Anonymous

Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.

Anonymous

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?

Anonymous

Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories.

Anonymous

You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!

Anonymous

If you eat in the kitchen, your room is always clean, and you go to sleep at 9 o'clock, it means you don't have Internet!!

Anonymous

If I had 10 cookies and you took half, do you know what you would have? That's right, a black eye and a broken hand.

Anonymous

In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry!

Anonymous

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Anonymous

Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that's confusing.

Anonymous

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Anonymous

My hobbies include eating and complaining that I've gained too much weight.

Anonymous

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and I find is ingredients.

Anonymous

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Anonymous

Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world.

Anonymous

Math: the only place where you have to figure out the ratio of yellow candy to blue candy when all you're thinking about is eating them.

Anonymous

I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing.

Anonymous