When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don't answer because I'm eating.
I can't sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.
If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece.
How does a train eat? Chew, Chew...
Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better!
Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!
Being a beaver is nice, if you're hungry you just eat a piece of your home.
If I had 10 cookies and you took half, do you know what you would have? That's right, a black eye and a broken hand.
Fortune cookie: You'll have a better fortune in the next cookie.
The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I actually asked for pizza.
I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.
Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale's mating call.
Every time I have my picture taken I get hungry because I hear 'cheese' so I start to think of a nice cheese sandwich.
Don't believe everything fortune cookies tells you. Just because they're sweet doesn't mean they're right.
I'm glad I don't have to hunt my own food, I don't even know where sandwiches live.
Yesterday I really wanted tacos, and now I'm eating tacos. Follow your dreams!
Sit down and let me tell you a story. Once upon a time I was hungry, and that's what happened to all your chocolate.
Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.
Chocolate is great, it gives you energy which can be used to go buy more chocolate.
I followed a diet but it didn't follow me back, so I unfollowed it.
Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge.
I'm just going to flip this omelette... Okay, we're having scrambled eggs.
Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.
I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge.
Birthdays are nature's way of feeding us cake.
