I followed a diet but it didn't follow me back, so I unfollowed it.
I can't sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.
Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.
If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?
Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories.
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!
If you eat in the kitchen, your room is always clean, and you go to sleep at 9 o'clock, it means you don't have Internet!!
If I had 10 cookies and you took half, do you know what you would have? That's right, a black eye and a broken hand.
In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry!
I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.
Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that's confusing.
Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.
My hobbies include eating and complaining that I've gained too much weight.
I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and I find is ingredients.
Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.
Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world.
Math: the only place where you have to figure out the ratio of yellow candy to blue candy when all you're thinking about is eating them.
I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing.
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