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Anonymous
I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
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Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories.
Anonymous
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I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.
Anonymous
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A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
Anonymous
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Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late.
Sam Levenson
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The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?'
Anonymous
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Pros and cons for making food: Pro: Food. Con: Making.
Anonymous
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I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing.
Anonymous
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If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?
Anonymous
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I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge.
Anonymous
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It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already.
Anonymous
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How does a train eat? Chew, Chew...
Anonymous
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