Anonymous Quote

I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Anonymous

You just can't live a full life on an empty stomach.

Anonymous

I'm just going to flip this omelette... Okay, we're having scrambled eggs.

Anonymous

If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for life would you choose hard or soft tacos?

Anonymous

I didn't mean to gain weight, it just happened by snackcident.

Anonymous

I'm glad I don't have to hunt my own food, I don't even know where sandwiches live.

Anonymous

My diet for today: 1% food, 99% Halloween candy.

Anonymous

All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza.

Anonymous

How does a train eat? Chew, Chew...

Anonymous

It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already.

Anonymous

I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge.

Anonymous

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?

Anonymous

I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing.

Anonymous

Pros and cons for making food: Pro: Food. Con: Making.

Anonymous

The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?'

Anonymous

Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late.

Sam Levenson

When we go to seafood restaurants I tell them 'Just water for me, thanks.' - Fish

Anonymous

A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.

Anonymous

I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.

Anonymous

Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories.

Anonymous