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Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better!

Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better!

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Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. - Anonymous

Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.

I don't care when people honk at me, but when geese do, I get out of the way!

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Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog. - Anonymous

Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear. - Dave Barry

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear.

The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following.

The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following.

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Animals

Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.

Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.

John Peer

God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.

Jacques Deval

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees

David Letterman

The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.

Steven Alexander Wright

Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.

Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.

I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status.

I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse.

The best way to show a giraffe your love is to knit a scarf for it. - Anonymous

The best way to show a giraffe your love is to knit a scarf for it.

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.

I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy. - Frank Zappa

I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.

I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.

I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.

A horse is dangerous at both ends, and uncomfortable in the middle.

A horse is dangerous at both ends, and uncomfortable in the middle.

For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.

For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.

In spring birds return from their tropical vacation. Six months later they regret their decision and go back. - Anonymous

In spring birds return from their tropical vacation. Six months later they regret their decision and go back.

Animals

My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting. - Anonymous

My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting.

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