Funny Quotes About Eating

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.

Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying.

Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late.

Birthdays are nature's way of feeding us cake.

It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already.

I can't sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you're hungry, and want to stay that way.

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it's a potato with fur.

Nutrition labels should include an "What if I ate the whole thing" section.

One day you're 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you're 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

If your New Years Resolution was to eat out less, you're killing it.