Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories.
More Quotes by Anonymous
I followed a diet but it didn't follow me back, so I unfollowed it.
Yesterday I really wanted tacos, and now I'm eating tacos. Follow your dreams!
Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.
You just can't live a full life on an empty stomach.
I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.
If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for life would you choose hard or soft tacos?
I didn't mean to gain weight, it just happened by snackcident.
My diet for today: 1% food, 99% Halloween candy.
It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already.
If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece.
If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?
I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing.
Pros and cons for making food: Pro: Food. Con: Making.
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?'
Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late.
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.
I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
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