Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. Mark Twain
A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back. Anonymous
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' Anonymous
I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing. Anonymous
If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? Anonymous