Funny Quotes About Eating

Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.

I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge.

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

"Made with love," means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Every time we try to eat healthy along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday and ruins it for us.

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Next week I'm going on a diet, you can buy me jewelry instead of chocolate.

Every time I have my picture taken I get hungry because I hear 'cheese' so I start to think of a nice cheese sandwich.

I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake.

My diet for today: 1% food, 99% Halloween candy.

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale's mating call.

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it's someone's birthday and I like to celebrate.