Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late.
My hobbies include eating and complaining that I've gained too much weight.
Dear Diamond, we all know who is really a girl's best friend. Sincerely yours, Chocolate Cake.
It's all fun and games until your jeans don't fit any more.
You just can't live a full life on an empty stomach.
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch.
I eat cake because it's someone's birthday somewhere today.
If you eat in the kitchen, your room is always clean, and you go to sleep at 9 o'clock, it means you don't have Internet!!
It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already.
Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories.
Next week I'm going on a diet, you can buy me jewelry instead of chocolate.
Pros and cons for making food: Pro: Food. Con: Making.
My diet for today: 1% food, 99% Halloween candy.
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