Funny Quotes About Eating

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I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle. - Anonymous

I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle. Anonymous

Fortune cookie: You'll have a better fortune in the next cookie.

Fortune cookie: You'll have a better fortune in the next cookie. Anonymous

Every time we try to eat healthy along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday and ruins it for us. - Anonymous

Every time we try to eat healthy along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday and ruins it for us. Anonymous

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When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don't answer because I'm eating. - Anonymous

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don't answer because I'm eating. Anonymous

Love Quotes Money Quotes People Quotes

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

Jack Handey

Animals Famous Quotes People Quotes

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away. Anonymous

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup. - Anonymous

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup. Anonymous

How does a train eat? Chew, Chew... - Anonymous

How does a train eat? Chew, Chew... Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes Top 100

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and I find is ingredients. - Anonymous

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and I find is ingredients. Anonymous

Sit down and let me tell you a story. Once upon a time I was hungry, and that's what happened to all your chocolate. - Anonymous

Sit down and let me tell you a story. Once upon a time I was hungry, and that's what happened to all your chocolate. Anonymous

I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge. - Anonymous

I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge. Anonymous

How do I like my eggs? In a cake. - Anonymous

How do I like my eggs? In a cake. Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes Top 100

I eat cake because it's someone's birthday somewhere today. - Anonymous

I eat cake because it's someone's birthday somewhere today. Anonymous

Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge. - Anonymous

Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

Next week I'm going on a diet, you can buy me jewelry instead of chocolate. - Anonymous

Next week I'm going on a diet, you can buy me jewelry instead of chocolate. Anonymous

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Every time I have my picture taken I get hungry because I hear 'cheese' so I
start to think of a nice cheese sandwich. - Anonymous

Every time I have my picture taken I get hungry because I hear 'cheese' so I start to think of a nice cheese sandwich. Anonymous

Think Quotes Time Quotes

I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake. - Anonymous

I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake. Anonymous

My diet for today: 1% food, 99% Halloween candy. - Anonymous

My diet for today: 1% food, 99% Halloween candy. Anonymous

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale's mating call. - Anonymous

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale's mating call. Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it's someone's birthday and I like to celebrate. - Anonymous

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it's someone's birthday and I like to celebrate. Anonymous

A fisherman who just caught a huge salmon reels the fish in, looks at the fish and says 'I am taking you for tonight's dinner!' The fish replies 'I already ate, can we go somewhere else?' Anonymous

I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.

I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry. Anonymous

Moments Short Quotes

Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying.

Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying. Anonymous

Love Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes

Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late. - Sam Levenson

Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late. Sam Levenson

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