Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world.
I have the worlds largest seashell collection. You may have seen it, I keep it spread out on beaches all over the world.
You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.
Henry Louis Mencken
The world today doesn't make sense, so why should I paint pictures that do?
Actual meanings of various terms:
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems.
IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.
If you think patience is a virtue, try surfing the net without high speed Internet.
God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
If there's no love in the world,... let's make some.
If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook.
I liked the movie Titanic, my favorite character was the iceberg.
Never judge a book by it's movie
Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible.
I was gonna take over the world today but I overslept. Postponed, again!
If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won't feel like you are lonely any more.
Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.
For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.
A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where is the pop corn?
Pros and cons for making food: Pro: Food. Con: Making.
Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...
Naked Gun (Movie)
Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better!
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