Top 100 Funny Quotes
I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.'
Anonymous
just once I'd like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.
Anonymous
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You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!
Anonymous
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.
Anonymous
You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You don't know where something is? MOM!
Anonymous
Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even better with a friend.
Anonymous
Whenever I'm sad, you're there. Whenever I have problems, you're there. Whenever I lose control, you're there. Let's face it, you are bad luck.
Anonymous
Don't know where your kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they'll show up quickly.
Anonymous
Displayed 31-45 of 400 quotes.