Top 100 Funny Quotes

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24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? Steven Alexander Wright
Beer Quotes Drinking Questions
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump. - Anonymous
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump. Anonymous
Animals Questions
In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry! - Anonymous
In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry! Anonymous
Eat Quotes Love Quotes Sayings
Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them? - Anonymous
Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them? Anonymous
Life Quotes Money Quotes Phone
Do you ever go out, and then something happens ...
Do you ever go out, and then something happens and you think to yourself 'this is exactly why I don't go out'? Anonymous
Questions Think Quotes
I hope we're good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people. - Anonymous
I hope we're good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Good Quotes People Quotes
Living on earth may be tough, but it includes a free ride around the sun every year.
Living on earth may be tough, but it includes a free ride around the sun every year. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before.
Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before. Anonymous
Life Quotes Statements
When someone doesn't like something, it's often because they're not familiar with it, or they're too familiar with it.
When someone doesn't like something, it's often because they're not familiar with it, or they're too familiar with it. Anonymous
Analogies Sayings
You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither! - Anonymous
You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither! Anonymous
Know Quotes Moments Work Quotes
Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.
Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done. Anonymous
Know Quotes Never Quotes Sayings
You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'
You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!' Anonymous
Know Quotes Stupid Quotes
I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!
I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome! Anonymous
Know Quotes Sayings
It's really complicated to make something simple.
It's really complicated to make something simple, but very simple to make something something complicated. Anonymous
Sayings Statements
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