Top 100 Funny Quotes
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump.
Anonymous
In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry!
Anonymous
Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them?
Anonymous
Do you ever go out, and then something happens and you think to yourself 'this is exactly why I don't go out'?
Anonymous
I hope we're good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.
Anonymous
When someone doesn't like something, it's often because they're not familiar with it, or they're too familiar with it.
Anonymous
You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither!
Anonymous
You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'
Anonymous
Displayed 31-45 of 400 quotes.