Top 100 Funny Quotes

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Sometimes I'm grateful that thoughts don't appear as bubbles over our heads. - Anonymous

Sometimes I'm grateful that thoughts don't appear as bubbles over our heads. Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Don't mess with me, I know Karate, Judo, Jujitsu, Kung Fu and 20 other dangerous words. - Anonymous

Don't mess with me, I know Karate, Judo, Jujitsu, Kung Fu and 20 other dangerous words. Anonymous

Know Quotes Wise Quotes

I'm so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-top on top of it. - Anonymous

I'm so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-top on top of it. Anonymous

Sayings

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I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me...

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way. Anonymous

Sayings

I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!

I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome! Anonymous

Know Quotes Sayings

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. -Albert Einstein

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. Albert Einstein

Famous Quotes Love Quotes Man Quotes

I was told to check my attitude. I did, and it's still there.. it hasn't gone anywhere. What's the problem? - Anonymous

I was told to check my attitude. I did, and it's still there.. it hasn't gone anywhere. What's the problem? Anonymous

Witty Quotes

Sleeping is hard in the summer because the blankets are too warm, but without them I am vulnerable to monsters. - Anonymous

Sleeping is hard in the summer because the blankets are too warm, but without them I am vulnerable to monsters. Anonymous

Sayings Sleep Quotes

You're born free, then you're taxed to death.

You're born free, then you're taxed to death. Anonymous

Famous Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

The best advise I have for all my teachers during a test is to pass the test out as fast as possible before I forget everything. Anonymous

Wise Quotes

I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows. - Anonymous

I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows. Anonymous

Know Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes

I'm a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot. - Anonymous

I'm a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Sleep Quotes

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor. - Anonymous

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor. Anonymous

Analogies Money Quotes Short Quotes

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself. - Groucho Marx

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself. Groucho Marx

Life Quotes

I look at the moon and it looks really beautiful!.. Then I look at you... and.. I think I'll look at the moon again?!

I look at the moon and it looks really beautiful!.. Then I look at you... and.. I think I'll look at the moon again?! Anonymous

People Quotes Think Quotes Wife Quotes

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