Top 100 Funny Quotes
Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time ago?
Anonymous
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?'
Anonymous
Sponsored Links
I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.
Anonymous
Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them?
Anonymous
I always say "morning" instead of "good morning", because if it was a good morning, I'd still be asleep.
Anonymous
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
Mark Twain
I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
Anonymous
That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you're shopping for something else because they just won't budge.
Anonymous
Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy.
Anonymous
There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.
Anonymous
Displayed 61-75 of 400 quotes.














