What did the traffic light say to the other traffic light? Don't look, I'm changing.
The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep!
I consider myself a crayon, I might not be your favorite color but one day you'll need me to complete your picture.
You know what part I like about waking up early? None.. let me go back to sleep.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
Of course I talk to myself... sometimes I need expert advice.
Treat me like a joke and I'll leave you like it's funny.
Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits.
I want to change my name on Facebook to "Nobody," so when I see someone posting something stupid I can Like their post and it will say "Nobody likes this."
Be bold, be italic, but never regular.
If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you.
Life status: Currently holding it all together with one bobby pin.
I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is.
I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen.
Facebook needs three buttons, "Like", "Dislike" and "Stop being stupid."
God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face.
Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary.
To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you.
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