Top 100 Funny Quotes
The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist.
Anonymous
My friend, remember that without stupidity there wouldn't be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty, so the world needs you after all.
Anonymous
It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills.
Anonymous
Whenever I'm sad, you're there. Whenever I have problems, you're there. Whenever I lose control, you're there. Let's face it, you are bad luck.
Anonymous
Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.
Anonymous
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin
Displayed 91-105 of 400 quotes.