A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have.
Math: the only place where you have to figure out the ratio of yellow candy to blue candy when all you're thinking about is eating them.
That moment when there's a spider on you, and you suddenly turn into a black belt karate master.
The hardest thing to find in life is happiness - money is only hard to find because it gets wasted trying to find happiness.
Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.
If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?
Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it.
You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither!
How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.
If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece.
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?
What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out.
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.
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