Top 100 Funny Quotes

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I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. - Anonymous
I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street. - Anonymous
My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street. Anonymous
Analogies Short Quotes
Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going. - Anonymous
Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning. - Anonymous
Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Stupid Quotes
just once I'd like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal. - Anonymous
just once I'd like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal. Anonymous
Wise Quotes
I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.
I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
But when you fart just one time...
Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears.
Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain.
Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile.
But when you fart just one time... Anonymous
Happy Quotes Sayings Time Quotes
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. - Anonymous
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? - Anonymous
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? Anonymous
Questions
Some friends are like the wind, some are like mountains. They come in and breeze out of your life, or they are there for a lifetime. - Anonymous
Some friends are like the wind, some are like mountains. They come in and breeze out of your life, or they are there for a lifetime. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Life Quotes
I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. - Anonymous
I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? - Anonymous
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? Anonymous
Man Quotes Questions Short Quotes
Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor. - Anonymous
Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor. Anonymous
Analogies Money Quotes Short Quotes
Your idea is completely terrible... so what time shall we do it? - Anonymous
Your idea is completely terrible... so what time shall we do it? Anonymous
Moments Questions Short Quotes
Displayed 91-105 of 400 quotes.

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