Top 100 Funny Quotes

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Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' - Anonymous

Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' Anonymous

Dog Quotes Stupid Quotes

You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing. - Henry Louis Mencken

You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.

Henry Louis Mencken

Life Quotes Sayings World Quotes

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? Steven Alexander Wright

Beer Quotes Drinking Questions

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Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation. - Anonymous

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes

Don't mess with me, I know Karate, Judo, Jujitsu, Kung Fu and 20 other dangerous words. - Anonymous

Don't mess with me, I know Karate, Judo, Jujitsu, Kung Fu and 20 other dangerous words. Anonymous

Know Quotes Wise Quotes

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. Woody Allen

Marriage Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. - Anonymous

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. Anonymous

Analogies Sleep Quotes

Dear automatic flushing toilet... I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't done yet. - Anonymous

Dear automatic flushing toilet... I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't done yet. Anonymous

Sayings

Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number. - Anonymous

Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? Anonymous

Love Quotes Short Quotes

To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human.

To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human. Anonymous

Sayings

When you fall, I will be there to catch you.

When you fall, I will be there to catch you - With love, the floor. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

Just because I'm awake doesn't mean I'm ready to do things. - Anonymous

Just because I'm awake doesn't mean I'm ready to do things. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes

Side by side or miles apart real friends are always close to the heart. - Anonymous

Side by side or miles apart real friends are always close to the heart. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes

The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

Walter Bagehot

Life Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes

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