Top 100 Funny Quotes
Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them? Anonymous
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. Anonymous
You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither! Anonymous
It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them. Anonymous
No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid. Anonymous
When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed. Anonymous
Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! Anonymous
Modern intelligence: if all bathrooms in the house are taken, turn off the internet. Anonymous
The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
As your best friend I'll always pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing. Anonymous
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. George Burns
Displayed 91-105 of 400 quotes.