Top 100 Funny Quotes

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Friends are like rainbows, always there to cheer you up after a storm. - Anonymous

Friends are like rainbows, always there to cheer you up after a storm. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Short Quotes

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. - Anonymous

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. Anonymous

Good Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful. - Anonymous

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Life Quotes Sleep Quotes

There's life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link. - Anonymous

There's life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link. Anonymous

Facebook Internet Life Quotes

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you. - Anonymous

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you. Anonymous

As your best friend I'll always pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing. - Anonymous

As your best friend I'll always pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing. Anonymous

If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. - Anonymous

If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. Anonymous

Happy Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes

I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year. - Anonymous

I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Sayings Wise Quotes

Interviewer: So tell me about yourself. Me: I'd rather not.. I kinda want this job. - Anonymous

Interviewer: So tell me about yourself. Me: I'd rather not.. I kinda want this job. Anonymous

Questions Work Quotes

I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.'

I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.' Anonymous

Know Quotes Moments People Quotes

You know what part I like about waking up early? None.. let me go back to sleep. - Anonymous

You know what part I like about waking up early? None.. let me go back to sleep. Anonymous

Know Quotes Life Quotes Sleep Quotes

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it.. I'm totally flexible. - Anonymous

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it.. I'm totally flexible. Anonymous

Short Quotes Wise Quotes

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I'm gonna need everybody to stop living here. - Anonymous

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I'm gonna need everybody to stop living here. Anonymous

Life Quotes Stupid Quotes

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people. - Anonymous

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people. Anonymous

Internet People Quotes

I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status.

I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. Anonymous

Animals Cat Quotes Computers

In grammar class the teacher asks her student 'When you sing you say 'I sing' what do you say when your brother is singing? I say 'shut up you're a terrible singer'.

In grammar class the teacher asks her student: When you sing you say 'I sing' what do you say when your brother is singing? I say 'shut up you're a terrible singer'. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess. - Anonymous

When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

George Carlin

Famous Quotes Questions

It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them. - Anonymous

It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them. Anonymous

Sayings Work Quotes

If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all. - David Letterman

If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.

David Letterman

Sayings Stupid Quotes Wise Quotes

The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.

The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Sayings Short Quotes Work Quotes

I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.

I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

Cheer myself up.

I always try to cheer myself up by singing when I get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems. Anonymous

Moments Time Quotes

It's really complicated to make something simple.

It's really complicated to make something simple, but very simple to make something something complicated. Anonymous

Sayings Statements

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