Whenever I'm sad, you're there. Whenever I have problems, you're there. Whenever I lose control, you're there. Let's face it, you are bad luck.
Not to brag but I don't even need alcohol to make really bad decisions. Anonymous
No matter how bad it gets I'm always rich when I go to the dollar store. Anonymous
Sharks are not so bad... If a stranger came into my house wearing only a bathing suit, I'd probably get angry too. Anonymous
When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver. Anonymous
If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them. Anonymous
I think I'm starting to have a problem with my vision, ever since I got married I haven't seen any money through the entire house. Anonymous