Top 100 Funny Quotes

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary.

Anonymous

Facebook needs three buttons, "Like", "Dislike" and "Stop being stupid."

Anonymous

I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is.

Anonymous

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Anonymous

I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Anonymous

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Anonymous

To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you.

Anonymous

Friends are like rainbows, always there to cheer you up after a storm.

Anonymous

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people... together.

Anonymous

God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face.

Anonymous

When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess.

Anonymous

In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry!

Anonymous

Does anyone else have plastic bags full of plastic bags or is it just me?

Anonymous

Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years.

Anonymous

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

George Burns

If I'm silent it's because there's thunder inside me. Or I'm just chilling, may the odds be in your favor.

Anonymous

Life is the dash between the birth date and the passed away date.

Anonymous

When nothing is going right, go left.

Anonymous