Top 100 Funny Quotes

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Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers. - Anonymous

Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers. Anonymous

I know some people don't like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste. - Anonymous

I know some people don't like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste. Anonymous

I was told to check my attitude. I did, and it's still there.. it hasn't gone anywhere. What's the problem? - Anonymous

I was told to check my attitude. I did, and it's still there.. it hasn't gone anywhere. What's the problem? Anonymous

I'm a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot. - Anonymous

I'm a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Sleep Quotes

I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed. - Anonymous

I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed. Anonymous

Life Quotes Stupid Quotes

If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them. - Anonymous

If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them. Anonymous

Life Quotes People Quotes Phone

Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.

Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you. Joey Adams

Love Quotes Never Quotes Sayings

How do I like my eggs? In a cake. - Anonymous

How do I like my eggs? In a cake. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Questions Short Quotes

I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Sleep Quotes

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people... together. - Anonymous

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people... together. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Short Quotes

Friendship is like peeing on yourself.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. Anonymous

Analogies Friend Quotes

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor. - Anonymous

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor. Anonymous

Analogies Money Quotes Short Quotes

I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. - Anonymous

I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

4 out 3 people struggle with math. - Anonymous

4 out 3 people struggle with math. Anonymous

Math Quotes Short Quotes

If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for life would you choose hard or soft tacos? - Anonymous

If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for life would you choose hard or soft tacos? Anonymous

Questions Stupid Quotes

I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!

I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome! Anonymous

Know Quotes Sayings

If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running. - Anonymous

If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running. Anonymous

Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning. - Anonymous

Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Stupid Quotes

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera. - Anonymous

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera. Anonymous

I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.

I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor. Anonymous

Animals Dog Quotes Eat Quotes

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? Anonymous

Love Quotes Short Quotes

You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again. - Anonymous

You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again. Anonymous

Know Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don't think being an adult is going to work for me. - Anonymous

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don't think being an adult is going to work for me. Anonymous

It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick. - Anonymous

It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick. Anonymous

Facebook TV Quotes Time Quotes

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