Top 100 Funny Quotes

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I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!

I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome! Anonymous

Know Quotes Sayings

Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before.

Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before. Anonymous

Life Quotes Statements

When someone doesn't like something, it's often because they're not familiar with it, or they're too familiar with it.

When someone doesn't like something, it's often because they're not familiar with it, or they're too familiar with it. Anonymous

Analogies Sayings

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? - Anonymous

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? Anonymous

Questions

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. - Anonymous

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes

Dear automatic flushing toilet... I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't done yet. - Anonymous

Dear automatic flushing toilet... I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't done yet. Anonymous

Sayings

My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street. - Anonymous

My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street. Anonymous

Analogies Short Quotes

The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

Walter Bagehot

Life Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes

Living on earth may be tough, but it includes a free ride around the sun every year.

Living on earth may be tough, but it includes a free ride around the sun every year. Anonymous

Life Quotes

How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? - Anonymous

How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? Anonymous

Man Quotes Questions Short Quotes

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be. - Anonymous

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Love Quotes

just once I'd like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal. - Anonymous

just once I'd like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal. Anonymous

Wise Quotes

Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.

Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done. Anonymous

Know Quotes Never Quotes Sayings

It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already. - Anonymous

It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Stupid Quotes Time Quotes

Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. - Anonymous

Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

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