Top 100 Funny Quotes

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I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.
I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Eat Quotes
Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition? - Anonymous
Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside. - Anonymous
You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside. Anonymous
Know Quotes Stupid Quotes
Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible? - Anonymous
Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me...
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way. Anonymous
Sayings
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' - Anonymous
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' Anonymous
Dog Quotes Stupid Quotes
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. - Paul Fix
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

Paul Fix

People Quotes Statements Think Quotes
If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? - Anonymous
If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Wise Quotes
I know my limits. I don't always obey them, but I know them. - Anonymous
I know my limits. I don't always obey them, but I know them. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. - Anonymous
All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Know Quotes Sayings
A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. - Anonymous
A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes Wise Quotes
I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. - Anonymous
I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. Anonymous
Statements
Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.
Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Pool rules: You're not allowed to do anything that begins with the words 'Hey everyone watch this!' - Anonymous
Pool rules: You're not allowed to do anything that begins with the words 'Hey everyone watch this!' Anonymous
Witty Quotes
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