Top 100 Funny Quotes

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True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people... together. - Anonymous
True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people... together. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes
I was told to check my attitude. I did, and it's still there.. it hasn't gone anywhere. What's the problem? - Anonymous
I was told to check my attitude. I did, and it's still there.. it hasn't gone anywhere. What's the problem? Anonymous
Witty Quotes
Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary. - Anonymous
Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary. Anonymous
Facebook Short Quotes Wise Quotes
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My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station. - Anonymous
My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Wife Quotes
just once I'd like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal. - Anonymous
just once I'd like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal. Anonymous
Wise Quotes
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. - Anonymous
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face.
God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
Modern intelligence: if all bathrooms in the house are taken, turn off the internet. - Anonymous
Modern intelligence: if all bathrooms in the house are taken, turn off the internet. Anonymous
Internet Witty Quotes
Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh. - Anonymous
Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Phone Short Quotes
Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent. - Anonymous
Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
Pool rules: You're not allowed to do anything that begins with the words 'Hey everyone watch this!' - Anonymous
Pool rules: You're not allowed to do anything that begins with the words 'Hey everyone watch this!' Anonymous
Witty Quotes
A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. - Anonymous
A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes Wise Quotes
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? Steven Alexander Wright
Beer Quotes Drinking Questions
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