Top 100 Funny Quotes

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Your secrets are safe with me... I wasn't even listening. - Anonymous
Your secrets are safe with me... I wasn't even listening. Anonymous
Short Quotes Witty Quotes
Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow.
Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen. - Anonymous
I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen. Anonymous
Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. - Anonymous
Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games. - Anonymous
A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games. Anonymous
Analogies Love Quotes Phone
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter. - John Gotti
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.

John Gotti

Stupid Quotes Think Quotes Work Quotes
I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year. - Anonymous
I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Wise Quotes
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. Dave Barry
Famous Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Math: the only place where you have to figure out the ratio of yellow candy to blue candy when all you're thinking about is eating them. - Anonymous
Math: the only place where you have to figure out the ratio of yellow candy to blue candy when all you're thinking about is eating them. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Math Quotes Sayings
That awkward moment you can't understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times. - Anonymous
That awkward moment you can't understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times. Anonymous
Moments Time Quotes
I believe there should be a better way to start each day... instead of waking up every morning.
I believe there should be a better way to start each day... instead of waking up every morning. Anonymous
Moments Sleep Quotes
How do I like my eggs? In a cake. - Anonymous
How do I like my eggs? In a cake. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Questions Short Quotes
Dear Humans, in case you forgot, I used to be your Internet.
Dear humans, in case you forgot, I used to be your Internet. Sincerely, The Library. Anonymous
Computers Internet
If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. - Anonymous
If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. Anonymous
Short Quotes Think Quotes
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