Top 100 Funny Quotes

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Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it. - Anonymous

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes

Got a new phone today, my old one failed the swimming test. - Anonymous

Got a new phone today, my old one failed the swimming test. Anonymous

Phone Sayings Short Quotes

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. -Albert Einstein

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. Albert Einstein

Famous Quotes Love Quotes Man Quotes

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Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh. - Anonymous

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Phone Short Quotes

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? - Anonymous

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? Anonymous

Questions

I'm so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-top on top of it. - Anonymous

I'm so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-top on top of it. Anonymous

Sayings

I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. - Anonymous

I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. Anonymous

Statements

When you fall, I will be there to catch you.

When you fall, I will be there to catch you - With love, the floor. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

I'm not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing. - Anonymous

I'm not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes

Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent. - Anonymous

Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

I was told to check my attitude. I did, and it's still there.. it hasn't gone anywhere. What's the problem? - Anonymous

I was told to check my attitude. I did, and it's still there.. it hasn't gone anywhere. What's the problem? Anonymous

Witty Quotes

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

Oscar Wilde

Life Quotes Short Quotes Wise Quotes

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff. - Anonymous

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes

I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!

I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome! Anonymous

Know Quotes Sayings

just once I'd like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal. - Anonymous

just once I'd like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal. Anonymous

Wise Quotes

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