Top 100 Funny Quotes
I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. Anonymous
I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.' That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, 'Your password is incorrect.' Anonymous
Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. Albert Einstein
I would like to apologize to anyone whom I haven't offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly. Anonymous
I've made it from the bed to the couch. There's no stopping me now. Anonymous
If we were on a sinking ship, and there was only one life vest... I would miss you so much. Anonymous
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. Anonymous
Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there. Anonymous
Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute. Anonymous
Sometimes I'm grateful that thoughts don't appear as bubbles over our heads. Anonymous
I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is. Anonymous
Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face! Anonymous
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote! Anonymous
If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? Anonymous
Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years. Anonymous
Side by side or miles apart real friends are always close to the heart. Anonymous
If you have crazy friends you have everything you'll ever need. Anonymous
In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry! Anonymous
Displayed 73-96 of 400 quotes.