Top 100 Funny Quotes
I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is. Anonymous
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. Anonymous
A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest. Winston Churchill
If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for life would you choose hard or soft tacos? Anonymous
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! Anonymous
I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen. Anonymous
In Math class we learned more about algebra today, such as X+10=Y should I care? Anonymous
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. Anonymous
When someone yells stop I don't know whether it's in the name of love, it's Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers. Anonymous
In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry! Anonymous
I've made it from the bed to the couch. There's no stopping me now. Anonymous
I love my computer because all my friends live inside it! Anonymous
You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it. Sam Levenson
Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even better with a friend. Anonymous
I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning. Anonymous
Don't mess with me, I know Karate, Judo, Jujitsu, Kung Fu and 20 other dangerous words. Anonymous
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote! Anonymous
You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside. Anonymous
Displayed 73-96 of 400 quotes.