I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me.
I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year. Anonymous
Facebook status: I'm not online, it's just an optical illusion. Anonymous
When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don't answer because I'm eating. Anonymous
If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be. Anonymous
The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet. Anonymous
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human. Anonymous
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. Woody Allen
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. Anonymous
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."