I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me.
More Quotes by Anonymous
The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human.
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
You're born free, then you're taxed to death.
If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.
The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with.
Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies.
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.
Don't be stupid, it might make you famous.
Store front sign: Entire store on sale, everything $1 or more.
A joke is a very serious thing.
If there is a wrong way to do something, then someone will do it.
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
We have to do the impossible, but it is possible.
If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door.
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.
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