Top 100 Funny Quotes

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Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it. - Anonymous

Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it. Anonymous

People Quotes Short Quotes Statements

Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. - Anonymous

Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years. - Anonymous

I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years. Anonymous

Life Quotes Stupid Quotes

A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. - Anonymous

A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. Anonymous

Stupid Quotes Wise Quotes

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. - Anonymous

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Anonymous

Know Quotes Sayings Statements

Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number. - Anonymous

Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes

People say you can't live without love, but I think oxygen is more important.

People say you can't live without love, but I think oxygen is more important. Anonymous

Love Quotes Marriage Quotes People Quotes

Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.

Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done. Anonymous

Know Quotes Never Quotes Sayings

It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills. - Anonymous

It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills. Anonymous

Never let your best friends get lonely... keep disturbing them. - Anonymous

Never let your best friends get lonely... keep disturbing them. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Short Quotes

Don't be stupid, it might make you famous. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Don't be stupid, it might make you famous. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Famous Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me. - Anonymous

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me. Anonymous

Love Quotes Sayings

If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. - Anonymous

If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Wise Quotes

When nothing is going right, go left. - Anonymous

When nothing is going right, go left. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

My friend, remember that without stupidity there wouldn't be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty, so the world needs you after all.

My friend, remember that without stupidity there wouldn't be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty, so the world needs you after all. Anonymous

Sayings Stupid Quotes World Quotes

My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead. - Anonymous

My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes People Quotes Sayings

I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat. - Anonymous

I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes Love Quotes

You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again. - Anonymous

You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again. Anonymous

Know Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes

If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you.

If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. - Anonymous

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes

If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? - Anonymous

If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes Wise Quotes

You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here. - Anonymous

You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

How come iPhone chargers are not called apple juice? - Anonymous

How come iPhone chargers are not called apple juice? Anonymous

Phone Questions Short Quotes

If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them. - Anonymous

If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them. Anonymous

Life Quotes People Quotes Phone

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