Top 100 Funny Quotes

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Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary. - Anonymous
Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary. Anonymous
Facebook Short Quotes Wise Quotes
I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down.
I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people. - Anonymous
That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people. Anonymous
Good Quotes Moments People Quotes
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Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. - Anonymous
Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31.
When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes Work Quotes
Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it. - Anonymous
Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. - Anonymous
A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes Wise Quotes
People say I act like I don't care. It's not an act. - Anonymous
People say I act like I don't care. It's not an act. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Wise Quotes
True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people... together. - Anonymous
True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people... together. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human.
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human. Anonymous
Sayings
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. - Anonymous
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. Anonymous
Wise Quotes
Your secrets are safe with me... I wasn't even listening. - Anonymous
Your secrets are safe with me... I wasn't even listening. Anonymous
Short Quotes Witty Quotes
I always give 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday. Welcome back weekend. - Anonymous
I always give 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday. Welcome back weekend. Anonymous
Work Quotes
I was told to check my attitude. I did, and it's still there.. it hasn't gone anywhere. What's the problem? - Anonymous
I was told to check my attitude. I did, and it's still there.. it hasn't gone anywhere. What's the problem? Anonymous
Witty Quotes
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