They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?
If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.
Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.
If you have crazy friends you have everything you'll ever need.
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again.
There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
I want to change my name on Facebook to "Nobody," so when I see someone posting something stupid I can Like their post and it will say "Nobody likes this."
Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.
I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat.
If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
Sometimes I'm grateful that thoughts don't appear as bubbles over our heads.
You and I are really more than friends. We're like a really small gang.
There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.
Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it.
I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.
I always say "morning" instead of "good morning", because if it was a good morning, I'd still be asleep.
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Never let your best friends get lonely... keep disturbing them.
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