Top 100 Funny Quotes

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My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station. - Anonymous
My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Wife Quotes
I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years. - Anonymous
I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years. Anonymous
Life Quotes Stupid Quotes
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? - Anonymous
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? Anonymous
Questions
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The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does!
The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does! Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Phone
My friend, remember that without stupidity there wouldn't be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty, so the world needs you after all.
My friend, remember that without stupidity there wouldn't be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty, so the world needs you after all. Anonymous
Sayings Stupid Quotes World Quotes
You never realize what you have until it's gone. Toilet paper is a good example. - Anonymous
You never realize what you have until it's gone. Toilet paper is a good example. Anonymous
Sayings
Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number. - Anonymous
Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes
Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone. - Anonymous
Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
But when you fart just one time...
Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears.
Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain.
Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile.
But when you fart just one time... Anonymous
Happy Quotes Sayings Time Quotes
Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. - Anonymous
Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don't think being an adult is going to work for me. - Anonymous
I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don't think being an adult is going to work for me. Anonymous
Sayings
With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. - Anonymous
With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
I look at the moon and it looks really beautiful!.. Then I look at you... and.. I think I'll look at the moon again?!
I look at the moon and it looks really beautiful!.. Then I look at you... and.. I think I'll look at the moon again?! Anonymous
People Quotes Think Quotes Wife Quotes
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