My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.
I don't have bad handwriting, I'm just using my own font.
I could be a morning person.. if morning was sometime around noon.
Think of a number between 1 and 10. Multiply it by 9 and subtract 1. Now close your eyes. It's dark isn't it?
When someone asks where you see yourself in 5 years... Buddy, I'm just trying to make it to Friday.
Sometime you meet such a prince that you'd rather marry the horse.
My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.
Dear auto-correct, that's not what I was trying to say. I'm getting tired of your shirt.
Why do you wear glasses? My eyes are so beautiful they have to be kept behind glass, like a showcase.
Lazy Rule: Can't reach it, don't need it.
Sorry I can't come today. My sister's friend's mother's grandpa's brother's grandson's uncle's fish died, and it was tragic.
I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.
I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can't find them.
Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.
I'm not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.
It's all fun and games until your jeans don't fit any more.
I'm so glad I learned about parallelograms instead of how to do taxes. It's ready handy this parallelogram season.
I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.
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