Top 100 Funny Quotes
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
Anonymous
I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.'
Anonymous
What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water.
Anonymous
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
Anonymous
Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy.
Anonymous
Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.
Anonymous
I want to change my name on Facebook to "Nobody," so when I see someone posting something stupid I can Like their post and it will say "Nobody likes this."
Anonymous
Displayed 16-30 of 400 quotes.