Top 100 Funny Quotes

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How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.
How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target. Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Wise Quotes
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human.
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human. Anonymous
Sayings
A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.
A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest. Winston Churchill
Analogies Famous Quotes Good Quotes
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. - Anonymous
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. Anonymous
Wise Quotes
I followed a diet but it didn't follow me back, so I unfollowed it. - Anonymous
I followed a diet but it didn't follow me back, so I unfollowed it. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
Cheer myself up.
I always try to cheer myself up by singing when I get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems. Anonymous
Moments Time Quotes
Whenever I'm sad, you're there. Whenever I have problems, you're there. Whenever I lose control, you're there. Let's face it, you are bad luck. - Anonymous
Whenever I'm sad, you're there. Whenever I have problems, you're there. Whenever I lose control, you're there. Let's face it, you are bad luck. Anonymous
Witty Quotes
Don't know where your kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they'll show up quickly.
Don't know where your kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they'll show up quickly. Anonymous
Internet
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes
I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.'
I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.' Anonymous
Know Quotes Moments People Quotes
Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone. - Anonymous
Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
I always say "morning" instead of "good morning", because if it was a good morning, I'd still be asleep. - Anonymous
I always say "morning" instead of "good morning", because if it was a good morning, I'd still be asleep. Anonymous
Good Quotes Lazy Quotes Life Quotes
Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller? - Anonymous
Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller? Anonymous
Questions
I want to change my name on Facebook to "Nobody," so when I see someone posting something stupid I can Like their post and it will say "Nobody likes this." - Anonymous
I want to change my name on Facebook to "Nobody," so when I see someone posting something stupid I can Like their post and it will say "Nobody likes this." Anonymous
Facebook
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