Top 100 Funny Quotes

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Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition? - Anonymous

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition? Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes

Don't drink to forget me, you'll end up seeing me double. - Anonymous

Don't drink to forget me, you'll end up seeing me double. Anonymous

Beer Quotes Drinking Short Quotes

The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' - Anonymous

The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' Anonymous

Funny Tree Quotes Stupid Quotes Witty Quotes

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary. - Anonymous

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary. Anonymous

Facebook Short Quotes Wise Quotes

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see. Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.'

I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.' That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, 'Your password is incorrect.' Anonymous

Computers

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them. - Anonymous

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them. Anonymous

People Quotes Sayings

$Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.$

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you. Anonymous

Math Quotes Stupid Quotes

An adult is a person who no longer grows in height, but instead grows in length and width. - Anonymous

An adult is a person who no longer grows in height, but instead grows in length and width. Anonymous

Sayings

My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. - Anonymous

My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. Anonymous

Analogies Short Quotes Work Quotes

I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. - Anonymous

I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Time Quotes

Sometimes I'm grateful that thoughts don't appear as bubbles over our heads. - Anonymous

Sometimes I'm grateful that thoughts don't appear as bubbles over our heads. Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote! - Anonymous

Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote! Anonymous

Animals TV Quotes Witty Quotes

Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. Anonymous

Beer Quotes Drinking Lazy Quotes

How come iPhone chargers are not called apple juice? - Anonymous

How come iPhone chargers are not called apple juice? Anonymous

Phone Questions Short Quotes

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