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My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead. - Anonymous

My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead.

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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.

He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.

Paddy O'Dea

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

Simpsons

I live my life one weekend at time, for those two days nothing else matters, I am FREE.

I live my life one weekend at time, for those two days nothing else matters, I am FREE.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years. - Anonymous

Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years.

Retirement is great, you get to be your own boss and tell yourself to do nothing all day.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.

I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Ultimate lazy moment: Watching the sunrise on TV because you're too lazy to get up and watch it for real. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Ultimate lazy moment: Watching the sunrise on TV because you're too lazy to get up and watch it for real.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry. - Anonymous

I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry.

After (M)onday and (T)uesday comes WTF ! - Anonymous

After (M)onday and (T)uesday comes WTF !

I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y".

I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y".

I'm not lazy, I'm just very relaxed.

I'm not lazy, I'm just very relaxed.

Better moment

There is no better moment to postpone something you don't want to do other than right now.

Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday.

Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday.

I am too lazy to be lazy.

I am too lazy to be lazy.

Today I will live in the moment... unless that moment becomes unpleasant, in which case I'll take a nap. - Anonymous

Today I will live in the moment... unless that moment becomes unpleasant, in which case I'll take a nap.

Stop crying, Monday will be over soon.

Stop crying, Monday will be over soon.

Tried going out with my girlfriend but by the time she finished putting on her makeup the weekend was over.

Tried going out with my girlfriend but by the time she finished putting on her makeup the weekend was over.

If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. - Anonymous

If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.

You know you are lazy when you get excited about cancelling your plans. - Anonymous

You know you are lazy when you get excited about cancelling your plans.

I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven... or do they send someone to pick us up? - Anonymous

I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven... or do they send someone to pick us up?

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