I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.'
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump. Anonymous
A zooology teacher asks the class 'What is the one animal in the jungle that a lion is afraid of?' The class answers: a lioness. Anonymous
I hate mosquitoes. I mean, I know I am delicious, but I don't give out free samples. Anonymous
Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket. Anonymous
The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf of bread are three billion to one. Erma Bombeck
I'm glad I don't have to hunt my own food, I don't even know where sandwiches live. Anonymous
It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. Woody Allen