I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.'
It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.
Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket.
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
Store front sign: Entire store on sale, everything $1 or more.
That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you're shopping for something else because they just won't budge.
I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me.
The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.
Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.
It's not that I want more shoes, it's just that they keep making them in my size.
Shopping is the only exercise I need.
When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.
Me: I am so glad I saved all this money. Me again: It's time to spend it, you know you want to.
I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.
Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.
I hate mosquitoes. I mean, I know I am delicious, but I don't give out free samples.
I don't like morning people... or mornings, or people.
A zooology teacher asks the class 'What is the one animal in the jungle that a lion is afraid of?' The class answers: a lioness.
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump.
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