Top 100 Funny Quotes

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Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better!

Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better! Anonymous

Animals Eat Quotes Good Quotes

I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. - Anonymous

I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down.

I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

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Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find?

Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find? CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Life Quotes Questions

Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them? - Anonymous

Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them? Anonymous

Life Quotes Money Quotes Phone

Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers. - Anonymous

Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers. Anonymous

Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. - Anonymous

Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. Anonymous

Love Quotes Short Quotes

I believe there should be a better way to start each day... instead of waking up every morning.

I believe there should be a better way to start each day... instead of waking up every morning. Anonymous

Moments Sleep Quotes

All of us light up a room, some when they enter, others when they leave.

All of us light up a room, some when they enter, others when they leave. Anonymous

People Quotes Short Quotes

Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.

Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.

P.D. East

Love Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

The hardest thing to find in life is happiness.

The hardest thing to find in life is happiness - money is only hard to find because it gets wasted trying to find happiness. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Happy Quotes Life Quotes Money Quotes

If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth!

If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth! Anonymous

I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad! - Anonymous

I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad! Anonymous

Questions Sayings Short Quotes

I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.'

I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.' That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, 'Your password is incorrect.' Anonymous

I consider myself a crayon, I might not be your favorite color but one day you'll need me to complete your picture.

I consider myself a crayon, I might not be your favorite color but one day you'll need me to complete your picture.

Savannah Highnote

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My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street. - Anonymous

My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street. Anonymous

Analogies Short Quotes

If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all. - David Letterman

If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.

David Letterman

Sayings Stupid Quotes Wise Quotes

It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them. - Anonymous

It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them. Anonymous

Sayings Work Quotes

It's so simple to be wise.

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it. Sam Levenson

Stupid Quotes Think Quotes Wise Quotes

You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here. - Anonymous

You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

In grammar class the teacher asks her student 'When you sing you say 'I sing' what do you say when your brother is singing? I say 'shut up you're a terrible singer'.

In grammar class the teacher asks her student: When you sing you say 'I sing' what do you say when your brother is singing? I say 'shut up you're a terrible singer'. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities... - Anonymous

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities... Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes

Your idea is completely terrible... so what time shall we do it? - Anonymous

Your idea is completely terrible... so what time shall we do it? Anonymous

Moments Questions Short Quotes

There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing. - Anonymous

There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing. Anonymous

People Quotes Think Quotes Time Quotes

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