Top 100 Funny Quotes

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Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it. - Anonymous
Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful. - Anonymous
I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes Sleep Quotes
I followed a diet but it didn't follow me back, so I unfollowed it. - Anonymous
I followed a diet but it didn't follow me back, so I unfollowed it. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
It's so simple to be wise.
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it. Sam Levenson
Stupid Quotes Think Quotes Wise Quotes
If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door. - Anonymous
If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I'm so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-top on top of it. - Anonymous
I'm so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-top on top of it. Anonymous
Sayings
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera. - Anonymous
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera. Anonymous
Sayings
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. - Anonymous
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face.
God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Your secrets are safe with me... I wasn't even listening. - Anonymous
Your secrets are safe with me... I wasn't even listening. Anonymous
Short Quotes Witty Quotes
My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street. - Anonymous
My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street. Anonymous
Analogies Short Quotes
If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. - Anonymous
If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Wise Quotes
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter. - John Gotti
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.

John Gotti

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