Top 100 Funny Quotes

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It was me, I let the dogs out. - Anonymous
It was me, I let the dogs out. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes
If you can't find your better half, try finding your better two quarters. - Anonymous
If you can't find your better half, try finding your better two quarters. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I would like to apologize to anyone whom I haven't offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly. - Anonymous
I would like to apologize to anyone whom I haven't offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes
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Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.
Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure! - Anonymous
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure! Anonymous
Know Quotes Never Quotes Time Quotes
So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff. - Anonymous
So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human.
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human. Anonymous
Sayings
Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy. - Anonymous
Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Life Quotes Stupid Quotes
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera. - Anonymous
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera. Anonymous
Sayings
I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is. - Anonymous
I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is. Anonymous
Know Quotes Sayings Think Quotes
I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake. - Anonymous
I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!
I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome! Anonymous
Know Quotes Sayings
I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat. - Anonymous
I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes Love Quotes
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Rita Rudner

Life Quotes Love Quotes Marriage Quotes
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