Top 100 Funny Quotes

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I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle. - Anonymous

I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle. Anonymous

Money Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

My imaginary friend thinks he has problems. - Anonymous

My imaginary friend thinks he has problems. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Short Quotes

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither! - Anonymous

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither! Anonymous

Know Quotes Moments Work Quotes

Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!

Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life! Anonymous

Friend Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes

How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. - Anonymous

How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. Anonymous

Beer Quotes Drinking Know Quotes

I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad! - Anonymous

I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad! Anonymous

Questions Sayings Short Quotes

Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.

Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day. Anonymous

People Quotes Short Quotes

Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Animals Cat Quotes Life Quotes

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people... together. - Anonymous

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people... together. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Short Quotes

If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter. - John Gotti

If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.

John Gotti

Stupid Quotes Think Quotes Work Quotes

People say I act like I don't care. It's not an act. - Anonymous

People say I act like I don't care. It's not an act. Anonymous

People Quotes Short Quotes Wise Quotes

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people. - Anonymous

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people. Anonymous

Internet People Quotes

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden. - Eric Morecambe

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

Eric Morecambe

Stupid Quotes Witty Quotes

Friendship is like peeing on yourself.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. Anonymous

Analogies Friend Quotes

Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them? - Anonymous

Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them? Anonymous

Life Quotes Money Quotes Phone

That moment when there's a spider on you, and you suddenly turn into a black belt karate master. - Anonymous

That moment when there's a spider on you, and you suddenly turn into a black belt karate master. Anonymous

You have Facebook? Yup. You have Whatsapp? Yup. You have love? Forgot to install it. - Anonymous

You have Facebook? Yup. You have Whatsapp? Yup. You have love? Forgot to install it. Anonymous

Facebook Love Quotes

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth. - Anonymous

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth. Anonymous

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure! - Anonymous

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure! Anonymous

Know Quotes Never Quotes Time Quotes

It's really complicated to make something simple.

It's really complicated to make something simple, but very simple to make something something complicated. Anonymous

Sayings Statements

I hate when people ask me what I'm doing tomorrow, I don't even know what I'm doing today. - Anonymous

I hate when people ask me what I'm doing tomorrow, I don't even know what I'm doing today. Anonymous

Know Quotes Life Quotes People Quotes

As your best friend I'll always pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing. - Anonymous

As your best friend I'll always pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing. Anonymous

Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow.

Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes

I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year. - Anonymous

I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Sayings Wise Quotes

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