Top 100 Funny Quotes

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Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

Oscar Wilde

Life Quotes Short Quotes Wise Quotes
Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I'm doing while I'm doing it. - Anonymous
Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I'm doing while I'm doing it. Anonymous
Short Quotes
As your best friend I'll always pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing. - Anonymous
As your best friend I'll always pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing. Anonymous
Friend Quotes
The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

Walter Bagehot

Life Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes
In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry! - Anonymous
In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry! Anonymous
Eat Quotes Love Quotes Sayings
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human.
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human. Anonymous
Sayings
It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick. - Anonymous
It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick. Anonymous
Facebook TV Quotes Time Quotes
All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. - Anonymous
All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.
Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.

P.D. East

Love Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
I hope we're good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people. - Anonymous
I hope we're good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Good Quotes People Quotes
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. Albert Einstein
Famous Quotes
Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car. - Anonymous
Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes
That moment when there's a spider on you, and you suddenly turn into a black belt karate master. - Anonymous
That moment when there's a spider on you, and you suddenly turn into a black belt karate master. Anonymous
Moments
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status.
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. Anonymous
Animals Cat Quotes Computers
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