Top 100 Funny Quotes
I don't understand people who say "I don't know how to thank you." Like they never heard of money. Anonymous
I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y". Anonymous
I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome! Anonymous
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it. Sam Levenson
Everyone wants your happiness. Don't let them take it!! CoolFunnyQuotes.com
You can't have everything... where would you put it? Steven Alexander Wright
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. Anonymous
I hope we're good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people. Anonymous
It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them. Anonymous
I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year. Anonymous
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? Steven Alexander Wright
I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.' Anonymous
Dear humans, in case you forgot, I used to be your Internet. Sincerely, The Library. Anonymous
Math: the only place where you have to figure out the ratio of yellow candy to blue candy when all you're thinking about is eating them. Anonymous
The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed. Anonymous
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Displayed 169-192 of 400 quotes.