Top 100 Funny Quotes

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You're born free, then you're taxed to death.
You're born free, then you're taxed to death. Anonymous
Famous Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
I'm like Pacman when I'm at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me. - Anonymous
I'm like Pacman when I'm at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me. Anonymous
Analogies Eat Quotes
Some of the greatest ideas of all time have come to people during Math class... none of which had anything to do with Math.
Some of the greatest ideas of all time have come to people during Math class... none of which had anything to do with Math. Anonymous
Math Quotes Moments People Quotes
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I love my computer because all my friends live inside it! - Anonymous
I love my computer because all my friends live inside it! Anonymous
Computers Friend Quotes Short Quotes
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. George Burns
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The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Robert Bloch

Man Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
I always say "morning" instead of "good morning", because if it was a good morning, I'd still be asleep. - Anonymous
I always say "morning" instead of "good morning", because if it was a good morning, I'd still be asleep. Anonymous
Good Quotes Lazy Quotes Life Quotes
People say I act like I don't care. It's not an act. - Anonymous
People say I act like I don't care. It's not an act. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Wise Quotes
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status.
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. Anonymous
Animals Cat Quotes Computers
I'm just going to flip this omelette... Okay, we're having scrambled eggs. - Anonymous
I'm just going to flip this omelette... Okay, we're having scrambled eggs. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you're not home. - Anonymous
That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you're not home. Anonymous
Life Quotes Moments
Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent. - Anonymous
Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone. - Anonymous
I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone. Anonymous
Phone Sayings
Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. - Albert King
Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

Albert King

Sayings Short Quotes
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