Top 100 Funny Quotes
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. Anonymous
You can't have everything... where would you put it? Steven Alexander Wright
My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street. Anonymous
If we were on a sinking ship, and there was only one life vest... I would miss you so much. Anonymous
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? Anonymous
I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor. Anonymous
I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands. Anonymous
Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face! Anonymous
Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer. Anonymous
How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target. Anonymous
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day. Anonymous
Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. Anonymous
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.
Displayed 106-120 of 400 quotes.