Top 100 Funny Quotes

Home / Top 100 Funny Quotes

Only the best of the best quotes make it here, and it's up to our visitors to decide which make it and which do not. This list is automatically sorted based on your votes, so please vote if you think a quote sucks or rocks!

I want to change my name on Facebook to "Nobody," so when I see someone posting something stupid I can Like their post and it will say "Nobody likes this." - Anonymous
I want to change my name on Facebook to "Nobody," so when I see someone posting something stupid I can Like their post and it will say "Nobody likes this." Anonymous
Facebook
Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.
Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up. Anonymous
Sayings Sleep Quotes
"Revenge" sounds so mean, that's why I prefer to call it "Returning the favor." - Anonymous
"Revenge" sounds so mean, that's why I prefer to call it "Returning the favor." Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
Sponsored Links
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me...
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way. Anonymous
Sayings
When someone yells stop I don't know whether it's in the name of love, it's Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers. - Anonymous
When someone yells stop I don't know whether it's in the name of love, it's Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers. Anonymous
Know Quotes Love Quotes Stupid Quotes
Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor. - Anonymous
Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor. Anonymous
Analogies Money Quotes Short Quotes
If we were on a sinking ship, and there was only one life vest... I would miss you so much.
If we were on a sinking ship, and there was only one life vest... I would miss you so much. Anonymous
Life Quotes People Quotes Witty Quotes
That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you're shopping for something else because they just won't budge. - Anonymous
That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you're shopping for something else because they just won't budge. Anonymous
Life Quotes Moments
If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for life would you choose hard or soft tacos? - Anonymous
If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for life would you choose hard or soft tacos? Anonymous
Questions Stupid Quotes
When the past comes knocking, don't answer. It has nothing new to tell you.
When the past comes knocking, don't answer. It has nothing new to tell you. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
I'm not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing. - Anonymous
I'm not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. - Anonymous
Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
I'm just going to flip this omelette... Okay, we're having scrambled eggs. - Anonymous
I'm just going to flip this omelette... Okay, we're having scrambled eggs. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I'm doing while I'm doing it. - Anonymous
Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I'm doing while I'm doing it. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Displayed 1-15 of 400 quotes.

Funny Quote Topics

Recommended Sites

Pure Love Quotes Impressive Facts Best Positive Quotes

Search our Site