Top 100 Funny Quotes

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If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Sayings
In grammar class the teacher asks her student 'When you sing you say 'I sing' what do you say when your brother is singing? I say 'shut up you're a terrible singer'.
In grammar class the teacher asks her student: When you sing you say 'I sing' what do you say when your brother is singing? I say 'shut up you're a terrible singer'. Anonymous
I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do. - Anonymous
I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Think Quotes
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin
Famous Quotes Questions
You and I are really more than friends. We're like a really small gang. - Anonymous
You and I are really more than friends. We're like a really small gang. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes
A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.
A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest. Winston Churchill
Analogies Famous Quotes Good Quotes
Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.
Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.

P.D. East

Love Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Dear Humans, in case you forgot, I used to be your Internet.
Dear humans, in case you forgot, I used to be your Internet. Sincerely, The Library. Anonymous
Computers Internet
Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account.
Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account. Anonymous
Facebook Life Quotes Time Quotes
To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you.
To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you. Anonymous
Math Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite. - Anonymous
Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite. Anonymous
People Quotes Phone Short Quotes
Retirement is when you stop living at work, and start working at living. - Anonymous
Retirement is when you stop living at work, and start working at living. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
I'm old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.
I'm old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
Why do dentists use more anesthetic for longer procedures? So you won't be able to run away when it's time to pay the bill. - Anonymous
Why do dentists use more anesthetic for longer procedures? So you won't be able to run away when it's time to pay the bill. Anonymous
Questions Time Quotes
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