Top 100 Funny Quotes
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?'
Anonymous
If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place.
Anonymous
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
Mark Twain
The best advise I have for all my teachers during a test is to pass the test out as fast as possible before I forget everything.
Anonymous
Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there.
Anonymous
I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.
Anonymous
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
Albert Einstein
The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does!
Anonymous
Displayed 331-345 of 400 quotes.