You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'
Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going. Anonymous
Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. Anonymous
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. Albert Einstein
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart.
If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way. Sam Levenson
The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. Anonymous
When is the longer way always better than the shorter one? When you're a taxi driver. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
The traffic is so slow today that I read two books, ate lunch, dinner, replied to all my emails, and I still haven't got to work yet. Anonymous
A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. Anonymous
Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket. Anonymous
That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better. Anonymous