Top 100 Funny Quotes

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If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth!
If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth! Anonymous
Sayings
You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'
You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!' Anonymous
Know Quotes Stupid Quotes
Don't be stupid, it might make you famous. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Don't be stupid, it might make you famous. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Famous Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
I followed a diet but it didn't follow me back, so I unfollowed it. - Anonymous
I followed a diet but it didn't follow me back, so I unfollowed it. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
I'm not a morning person. I'm not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm. - Anonymous
I'm not a morning person. I'm not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes
I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too.
I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
It's not important to win, it's important to make the other guy lose.
It's not important to win, it's important to make the other guy lose. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
Dear sleep, I'm sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back! - Anonymous
Dear sleep, I'm sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back! Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
You're born free, then you're taxed to death.
You're born free, then you're taxed to death. Anonymous
Famous Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Stop worrying about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
Stop worrying about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. Charles M. Schulz
Life Quotes Short Quotes World Quotes
My imaginary friend thinks he has problems. - Anonymous
My imaginary friend thinks he has problems. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes
I found the hotel with the most stars in the world. It has an open roof so you can see them all. - Anonymous
I found the hotel with the most stars in the world. It has an open roof so you can see them all. Anonymous
Witty Quotes World Quotes
I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down.
I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.

Rita Rudner

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