Top 100 Funny Quotes

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I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing. - Anonymous

I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes Statements

I'm a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot. - Anonymous

I'm a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Sleep Quotes

I think something's missing in my life... Like... 2-3 million dollars. - Anonymous

I think something's missing in my life... Like... 2-3 million dollars. Anonymous

Life Quotes Money Quotes Short Quotes

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You can trust your dog to guard your house.

You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich. Anonymous

Animals Dog Quotes Eat Quotes

Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. - Anonymous

Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Statements

Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.

Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done. Anonymous

Know Quotes Never Quotes Sayings

I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough. - Anonymous

I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Statements

I made my Facebook name "Benefits," so when you add me now it says "you're friends with benefits." - Anonymous

I made my Facebook name "Benefits," so when you add me now it says "you're friends with benefits." Anonymous

Facebook Friend Quotes

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be. - Anonymous

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Love Quotes

All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. - Anonymous

All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes

Your idea is completely terrible... so what time shall we do it? - Anonymous

Your idea is completely terrible... so what time shall we do it? Anonymous

Moments Questions Short Quotes

If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. - Anonymous

If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. Anonymous

Happy Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes

Interviewer: So tell me about yourself. Me: I'd rather not.. I kinda want this job. - Anonymous

Interviewer: So tell me about yourself. Me: I'd rather not.. I kinda want this job. Anonymous

Questions Work Quotes

How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.

How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target. Anonymous

Never Quotes Sayings Wise Quotes

I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it.

I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it. Anonymous

Know Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

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