Top 100 Funny Quotes

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Retirement is when you stop living at work, and start working at living. - Anonymous
Retirement is when you stop living at work, and start working at living. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
I'm old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.
I'm old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
Why do dentists use more anesthetic for longer procedures? So you won't be able to run away when it's time to pay the bill. - Anonymous
Why do dentists use more anesthetic for longer procedures? So you won't be able to run away when it's time to pay the bill. Anonymous
Questions Time Quotes
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The road to success is always under construction.
The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin
Sayings Short Quotes
Don't be stupid, it might make you famous. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Don't be stupid, it might make you famous. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Famous Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
I'm not a morning person. I'm not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm. - Anonymous
I'm not a morning person. I'm not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes
Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. - Albert Einstein
Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. Albert Einstein
Famous Quotes Love Quotes People Quotes
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden. - Eric Morecambe
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

Eric Morecambe

Stupid Quotes Witty Quotes
Smile today, tomorrow could be worse.
Smile today, tomorrow could be worse. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.
Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you. Joey Adams
Love Quotes Never Quotes Sayings
Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there. - Anonymous
Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there. Anonymous
Life Quotes Math Quotes Witty Quotes
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? - Anonymous
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? Anonymous
Man Quotes Questions Short Quotes
I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year.
I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museum.
My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museum. Anonymous
Sayings
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