Top 100 Funny Quotes

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How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.
How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target. Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Wise Quotes
I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it.
I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it. Anonymous
Know Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don't think being an adult is going to work for me. - Anonymous
I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don't think being an adult is going to work for me. Anonymous
Sayings
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first. - Anonymous
A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first. Anonymous
People Quotes Stupid Quotes Time Quotes
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me...
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way. Anonymous
Sayings
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein
Famous Quotes Sayings
Life isn't measured by the number of breaths you take.
Life isn't measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away. Anonymous
Life Quotes Moments
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. Anonymous
People Quotes Questions Short Quotes
The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

Walter Bagehot

Life Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected.
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! Anonymous
Analogies Love Quotes Phone
The surest sign that there's intelligent life elsewhere in the universe, is that it has never contacted us. - Bill Waterson
The surest sign that there's intelligent life elsewhere in the universe, is that it has never contacted us.

Bill Waterson

I'm not lazy, I'm just very relaxed.
I'm not lazy, I'm just very relaxed. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
What I do when I see someone pretty is, I stare, I smile then when I get tired I put the mirror down.
What I do when I see someone pretty is, I stare, I smile then when I get tired I put the mirror down. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes
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