Top 100 Funny Quotes

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I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough. - Anonymous
I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Statements
I made my Facebook name "Benefits," so when you add me now it says "you're friends with benefits." - Anonymous
I made my Facebook name "Benefits," so when you add me now it says "you're friends with benefits." Anonymous
Facebook Friend Quotes
If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be. - Anonymous
If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Love Quotes
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All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. - Anonymous
All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
Your idea is completely terrible... so what time shall we do it? - Anonymous
Your idea is completely terrible... so what time shall we do it? Anonymous
Moments Questions Short Quotes
If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. - Anonymous
If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. Anonymous
Happy Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes
How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.
How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target. Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Wise Quotes
I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it.
I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it. Anonymous
Know Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.
A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open. Frank Zappa
Sayings Short Quotes
A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first. - Anonymous
A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first. Anonymous
People Quotes Stupid Quotes Time Quotes
No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.
No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid. Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Stupid Quotes
It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick. - Anonymous
It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick. Anonymous
Facebook TV Quotes Time Quotes
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