Top 100 Funny Quotes
I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough.
Anonymous
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
Anonymous
There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza.
Anonymous
How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.
Anonymous
I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don't think being an adult is going to work for me.
Anonymous
A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first.
Anonymous
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.
Anonymous
It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.
Anonymous
Displayed 241-255 of 400 quotes.