Dave Barry Quote

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You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

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Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.

Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong. Anonymous

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I'm old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.

I'm old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway. Anonymous

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I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. - Anonymous

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. Anonymous

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A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. - Anonymous

A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. Anonymous

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My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street. - Anonymous

My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street. Anonymous

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I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong. - Charles M. Schulz

I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong. Charles M. Schulz

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I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don't think being an adult is going to work for me. - Anonymous

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don't think being an adult is going to work for me. Anonymous

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We're all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap. - Anonymous

We're all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap. Anonymous

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. - Albert Einstein

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. Albert Einstein

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When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. Albert Einstein

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I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.

I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.

Pablo Picasso

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Growing up is amazing, until you get old! Anonymous

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You're born free, then you're taxed to death.

You're born free, then you're taxed to death. Anonymous

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The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein

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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

George Carlin

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The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education. - Albert Einstein

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education. Albert Einstein

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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

Jack Handey

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Don't be stupid, it might make you famous. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Don't be stupid, it might make you famous. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

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Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. Dave Barry

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Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school. - Albert Einstein

Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school. Albert Einstein

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice' ? - George Carlin

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice' ?

George Carlin

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