Top 100 Funny Quotes

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Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

Simpsons

Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Work Quotes
All of us light up a room, some when they enter, others when they leave.
All of us light up a room, some when they enter, others when they leave. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
My friend, remember that without stupidity there wouldn't be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty, so the world needs you after all.
My friend, remember that without stupidity there wouldn't be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty, so the world needs you after all. Anonymous
Sayings Stupid Quotes World Quotes
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God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.

Jacques Deval

Animals Funny Tree Quotes Man Quotes
You had me at "We'll make it look like an accident." - Anonymous
You had me at "We'll make it look like an accident." Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes
Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals. Anonymous
Animals Witty Quotes
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? - Anonymous
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Anonymous
Love Quotes Questions Short Quotes
Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands. - Anonymous
Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' - Anonymous
What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' Anonymous
Animals Phone Stupid Quotes
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. - Anonymous
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
What are the two magic words that you can always use to make a shark happy? "Man Overboard!" - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
What are the two magic words that you can always use to make a shark happy? "Man Overboard!" Anonymous
Animals
Everyone wants your happiness. Don't let them take it!! - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Everyone wants your happiness. Don't let them take it!! Anonymous
Happy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale's mating call. - Anonymous
Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale's mating call. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner.
When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner. Anonymous
Love Quotes Marriage Quotes
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