Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. Benjamin Franklin
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth!Anonymous
You laugh because I'm different........... I laugh cause I just farted!Anonymous
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.Woody Allen
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.Anonymous