Anonymous Quote

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Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.

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Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. Benjamin Franklin

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After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

Ronnie Shakes

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If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth!

If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth! Anonymous

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I tried looking at the bright side of life, but it hurt my eyes. - Anonymous

I tried looking at the bright side of life, but it hurt my eyes. Anonymous

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There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. Anonymous

People Quotes Questions Short Quotes

You laugh because I'm different...........
I laugh cause I just farted! - Anonymous

You laugh because I'm different........... I laugh cause I just farted! Anonymous

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Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Douglas Adams

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When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. - Woody Allen

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. Woody Allen

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Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. - Anonymous

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. Anonymous

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Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. Anonymous

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I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. - George W. Bush

I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.

George W. Bush

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I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. Henny Youngman

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Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories... - Steven Alexander Wright

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories... Steven Alexander Wright

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It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too, and the day before that. Anonymous

Statements Stupid Quotes

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. - Anonymous

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. Anonymous

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Newspaper ad: Hiring clowns, must be serious. Anonymous

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Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' - Anonymous

Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' Anonymous

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The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein

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Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects. Dave Barry

It's so simple to be wise.

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it. Sam Levenson

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I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. Steven Alexander Wright

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