I always knew I'd get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.
The older I get, the less surprised I'd be if a random body part just fell off one day. Anonymous
Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there. Anonymous
Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say.
I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly. Steven Alexander Wright
It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature. Steven Alexander Wright
Whether you give a crap or don't give a crap, nobody wants crap anyway! CoolFunnyQuotes.com
I'm not here to judge, I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' Anonymous
I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect. George Burns
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
Happiness: The emotion that puts your face in motion. Fear: The emotion that puts your legs in motion. Anger: The emotion that puts your fist in motion. Lesson: Don't be afraid or angry and you won't have to run and fight. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
I'm old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway. Anonymous
You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself. Anonymous
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote! Anonymous
If we were on a sinking ship, and there was only one life vest... I would miss you so much. Anonymous
My doctor prescribed laughter as the most efficient medicine. Unfortunately the pharmacist said too many people were crying from laughter so it's no longer available. CoolFunnyQuotes.com