Anonymous Quote

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

Life is the dash between the birth date and the passed away date.

In America, it is not important how much an item costs, it's more important how much you can save when you buy it.

"Oh you want to have your cake and eat it too?" Darn right, what good is cake if you can't eat it ?

I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy.

Birthdays are nature's way of feeding us cake.

My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museum.

I don't know how to act my age because I've never been this old before.

If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece.

How do I like my eggs? In a cake.

I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake.