Work quotes about management and jobs. Your colleagues and your boss will have a blast reading these.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I'm still at work.
Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers.
I always give 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday. Welcome back weekend.
Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job.
When someone asks where you see yourself in 5 years... Buddy, I'm just trying to make it to Friday.
My cell phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work.
You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither!
I once had a job in a orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.
I haven't even gone to bed yet and I already can't wait to get home from work tomorrow.
How do you go to work? Forced! No, I mean how do you arrive there? Depressed.
Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs.
Interviewer: What do you make at your current job? Me: Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments.
My bed wasn't feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.
It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them.
A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.
I'm not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.
All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.
Don't worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31.
Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels.
Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in preschool or school... Oh wait, I'm at work.
On Mercury a day lasts 1,408 hours. Just like every Monday does on Earth.
If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook.
Interviewer: So tell me about yourself. Me: I'd rather not.. I kinda want this job.
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