Work Quotes

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Funny quotes about work, your boss, colleagues. Funny quotes about Mondays and Fridays at work!

Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday? - Anonymous

Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday? Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes Top 100

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. - Anonymous

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. Anonymous

Know Quotes People Quotes Stupid Quotes

When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31.

When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31. Anonymous

Sleep Quotes Top 100

My cell phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work.

My cell phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work. Anonymous

Phone Stupid Quotes

I love my job only when I'm on vacation.

I love my job only when I'm on vacation. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Lazy Quotes Love Quotes Sayings

If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter. - John Gotti

If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.

John Gotti

Stupid Quotes Think Quotes Top 100

Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers. - Anonymous

Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers. Anonymous

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference. Anonymous

If someone is laughing, then laugh with them. If someone is singing, then sing them. If someone is working, let them work... you don't want to ruin their concentration. Anonymous

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. Woody Allen

Marriage Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest. - Anonymous

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

Just once I'd like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear "Monday has been cancelled," and then go back to sleep. Anonymous

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I'll shop. - Anonymous

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I'll shop. Anonymous

Interviewer: So tell me about yourself. Me: I'd rather not.. I kinda want this job. - Anonymous

Interviewer: So tell me about yourself. Me: I'd rather not.. I kinda want this job. Anonymous

Questions Top 100

He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.

He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.

Paddy O'Dea

Lazy Quotes Sleep Quotes

I'm not running away from hard work, I'm too lazy to run. - Anonymous

I'm not running away from hard work, I'm too lazy to run. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays. - Anonymous

I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

If A is success in life, then A is equal to X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z - keeping your mouth shut. - Albert Einstein

If A is success in life, then A is equal to X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z - keeping your mouth shut. Albert Einstein

Famous Quotes Life Quotes

If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook. - Anonymous

If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook. Anonymous

Facebook Life Quotes

When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep. - Anonymous

When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep. Anonymous

Sleep Quotes Statements

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn't ready. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

On Mercury a day lasts 1,408 hours. Just like every Monday does on Earth. - Anonymous

On Mercury a day lasts 1,408 hours. Just like every Monday does on Earth. Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100

Near year 2013, resolutions you can keep.

New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
Anonymous

Eat Quotes Exercise Quotes Stupid Quotes

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither! - Anonymous

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither! Anonymous

Know Quotes Moments Top 100

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